046 Memoirs of a BasJi/'ul Irishman. [^Dec. 



put up. The civility of the chamber-maid who warmed my bed was 

 notliing to it. 



But a country toAvn is no place for a man of enterprise. The society 

 thei'e is so limited, the opportunities of amassing money so few, that 

 one might as well think of keeping a public-house at Tadmor in the 

 Wilderness. Notwithstanding that, week after week, I enlightened the 

 neighbourhood by my articles on Political Economy, the East-India 

 Question, the Home and Foreign Policy, the Shipping Interests, the 

 Free Trade System — with which last I was well acquainted, my uncle 

 having for years been owner of a smuggling-vessel at Galway — I ob- 

 tained few proselytes, and less profit, until at length I hit upon a libel 

 which procured me the singular advantage of a public horsewhipping 

 from an obnoxious local magistrate. Hardly bad the eclat which this 

 dispute procured me subsided, when an article I wrote in favour of a 

 popular preacher brought me into still greater note. From this moment 

 I became a general favourite. I was made free of all the tea-parties 

 in the neighbourhood, was invited to the Corporation feasts, and even 

 offered a seat in the mayor's pew. ]\Iy best friends, however, were de- 

 cidedly maiden ladies, one of whom, thirty years of age, after a world 

 of entreaty on my part, consented to make me the happiest of men. 



I cannot say I am partial to marriage ceremonies. They are at beg^t 

 but dull affairs, like prefaces to a Scotch novel. AH parties, — with 

 the exception of the clergyman, to whom the recollection of his fees 

 impai'ts dignity and confidence — look as if they were ashamed of them- 

 selves. The bride makes a point of crying, the bridesmaid is envious, 

 and the bridegroom's new coat is sure to pinch him in the waist. Hap- 

 pily for us all, our pastf>r was a very race-horse in reading, and turned 

 two into one, received his fees, blessed, dismissed vis, and went to 

 breakfast, with a speed that would have distanced Eclipse. 



That same day, my wife and myself started off for the Continent. 

 Pai'is — Bourdeaux — Florence — Lausanne — each of those places we visited 

 in turn. At Florence, in particular, we spent ten days. 1 had long heard 

 that this noble city was famous for the Fine Arts ; and truly I never met 

 with more superb specimens of cookery. But of all the continental 

 cities, commend me to Naples. This place is the Elysium of Italy, 

 where pleasure meets with no check from principle, nor the present from 

 the apprehensions of the future. Still, even here, there is one thing want- 

 ing to ensure happiness, and that want I but too soon began to expe- 

 rience. My Avife's fortune was fast oozing out of my possession, and, 

 in order to supply the deficiencies, I was compelled to have recom'se to 

 gaming. Rash young man ! In evil hour, I lost not only what little 

 ready money I could call my own, but even all that I had in perspec- 

 tive. Henceforth I met with nothing but reproaches from Mrs. O'Blar- 

 ney. One evening in particular, the hot-headed partner of my bosom 

 wound up her insults by discharging a footstool at my head. This was 

 not to be borne, more especially as it levelled a fat footman who was 

 just entering the room with an ice-tray ; and, accordingly, after casting 

 on my wife a look in which tenderness struggled hard with regret, I 

 rushed from her presence, snatched up her jewel-box, which chanced 

 to be lying on the dressing-room table, pressed it next my heart, put 

 on my boots, and bolted. In another hour — such was the disti-action 

 of my mind — I had engaged for a maritime conveyance to England, 

 and was even far advanced in my voyage across the Bay of Naples, 



