J 829.] Memoirs oj a Bashful Irishman. G47 



ere I called to mind my respected wife. But it was then too late to 

 return. Besides, had it even been possible, I am convinced I could 

 never haVe mustered assurance enough to face the woman whom I 

 could not but feel I had wronged. JMy very modesty rose in amns 

 against me — et tu Brute ! — but to resume. 



In the same cabin with myself was a slim, waspish little gentleman, 

 fluent, communicative, and fifty-six. With this person I speedily struck 

 up an acquaintance. He was a strolling player, who had been engaged 

 for a term at the English theatre in Paris, till finding that his deserts were 

 caviare to the multitude, he indignantly sent in his resignation. " The 

 instant, however," added my companion, " I reach England, I shall 

 make known the full extent of my wrongs." — On another occasion 

 he entertained me with many curious particulars respecting his dramatic 

 career. " I have belonged," said he, " at one time or other, to almost 

 every theatrical corps in England. The last company to which I was 

 attached, was the one now performing at Bath, at which place I was a 

 prodigious favourite. ■ Tragedy — comedy — pantomime — ballet — nothing 

 came amiss to me. I even played the parts of animals, and not un- 

 frequently, after electrifying the audience with my Hamlet, have come 

 forward, in the pantomime, as one of the four quarters of an elephant. 

 Once I enacted a rhinoceros to the life, and, in the character of a crocodile, 

 ate up the late Mr. Tokeley for twenty nights in succession. Ah, Sir ! 

 genius was genius in those days, but the case is altered now. Hows- 

 ever " 



" But," said I, interrupting him, " if you were so popular at Bath, 

 how came you to be mad enough to leave it ?" 



" Leave it," he replied, shoving out his chin, and thrusting his mouth 

 close up under his nose, " it was impossible for me to stay. Flesh and 

 blood could not put up with half the insults I endured. Why, Sir, 

 would you believe it .'' notwithstanding the eclat I gained as a royal Ben- 

 gal tiger, the manager had not only the ingratitude to piit another man 

 into the part, but even to stick his name, in large red letters, at the top 

 of the play-bill, while he only put mine, in small caps, at the bottom, 



where it was mistaken for ' Vivat Rex.' Howsever " At this 



moment, and while his eye yet kindled with indignation, a lurch of the 

 vessel precipitated him headlong into my arms ; the effect of which con- 

 cussion was so wholly overpowering, that both of us, with the ejaculation 

 of " Oh Lord !" in our mouths, rolled, like a couple of tar-barrels, down 

 the cabin stair-case, nor once halted in our excursion till we had 

 safely landed at the bottom. 



The next day the vessel reached Plymouth, where I parted from the 

 splenetic Thespian ; and, after putting up a silent prayer for her happi- 

 ness, pawned my wife's jewels, and hastened with the proceeds to 

 London. Here I took lodgings at a gun-maker's in Shoreditch, and 

 employed my leisure hours i7i a History of Modern Italy, with which 

 my residence at Florence, Naples, &c., liad made me thoroughly ac- 

 quainted. Strange to say, my work, notwithstanding it was embellished 

 witli various engravings and descriptions of Rome — a city which nothing 

 but an accident prevented me from visiting — failed to meet with a 

 publisher. Meanwhile my finances, like the moon, waned apace, and 

 in less time than it usually takes to compose an epic poem, I became, 

 what is termed, " seedy." To increase my felicity, my landlady, with 

 whom, of course, I got into arrears, began daily to expatiate on the 



