&&& 



ANNUAL REGISTER, 1794. 



every species of noise; for, as long 

 as this is inadmissiblt-, vse think 

 ourselves out of .all dangtr of quar- 

 relling, from which a degree of 

 noise is inseparable : and though 

 nonsense is not statutable among us, 

 yet we are not afraid of its going to 

 any great lengths under the evi- 

 dent disadvantages of order and 

 tranquillity. There is a certain sc» 

 verity in silence, which will often 

 check the course of an idle argu- 

 ment, when opposition and ridicule 

 are employed in vain, I remember 

 hearing a plethoric young man run 

 on with surprising volubility, for an 

 hour and a half, by the help only 

 of two ideas, during the violence 

 of a debate; till a sudden pause in 

 -the rest of the company proved 

 clearly that he was talking about a 

 matter which bore no relation to 

 the point in dispute. The attention 

 of the company being now wholly 

 turned towards liim, he began to 

 totter under the mass of canfusion 

 he had so long been accumulating ; 

 when with one spring he cleared the 

 present difficulty, and leaped from 

 Seringapatam into the minister's 

 budget: here, howevei-, being nearly 

 smothered, he made a violciit effort ; 

 and before we could turn about to 

 assist him, he was up to his neck 

 in tar-water. He was, twice af- 

 ter this, in danger of being lost in 

 the southern ocean ; but an Afri- 

 can slave-vessel took him up each 

 time, and landed him, some how or 

 other, at Nootka Sound. If I re- 

 member righ.t, he held out till the 

 siege of (^tchakof, wliere he was 

 put out of his misery by a summons 

 from Tartary to the tea-table. Thus 

 a great deal of precious time is 

 husbanded by tliis rule of silent 

 ■attention among the members of 

 bur society ; and many an idle 



speech falls to the ground ere ii 

 can get three senteiioeg forvvanis, 

 and is strangled like a Turkish cri- 

 minal by dumb executioners. 



Any elevation of voice, above a 

 certain pitch, is highly illegal, and 

 punishable accordingly ; and to as-i 

 certain this proportion as duly as 

 possible, we have taken a room for 

 our purpose, in which there is a 

 very distinct echo, which must not 

 be roused from its dorniant state, 

 under very heavy penalties. Any 

 man provoking it to repeat his last 

 wxjrd, is judged to be defeated in 

 the argument he is maintaining, 

 and the dispute must be abandoned 

 altogether ; the echo pronounces 

 his sentence, from which there is 

 no appeal. The abuse of superla- 

 tives is also cognizable among us ; 

 and no man is allowed to say, that 

 his house is the pleasantest in the 

 neighbourhood, that his dogs run 

 the best, or that his crops are the 

 most plentiful. Whatevtr carries 

 the notion of a challenge wjth it, or 

 can lead to a wager, we are pledged 

 to discountenance. We admit nei- 

 ther toasting nor singing upon any 

 pretext ; and it would be as great 

 an oflence to raise a horse-laugh in 

 vi Quaker's meeting, as to encou' 

 rage any rude expression of joy 

 among us. An ancient gentleman, 

 lately admitted, was bound over last 

 Saturday, for an eulogy upon old 

 Mr. 8hapely's fresh countenance, 

 and a hint at his maid Kitty's cor- 

 pulency, accompanied with a wink 

 to Mr, Barnaby, the churchwarden. 



We admit no betts upon any 

 question whatever ;* and gaming is 

 proscribed by the most solemn inhi- 

 bitions. The merits of our neigh- 

 bours is a topic we are forbid to 

 descant upon ; and it was a question 

 at our hs%- meetir^g but one, whe- 

 ther 



