CHARACTERS. 



329 



some measure I succeeded : I had 

 pride before, but he taught it to 

 flow in proper channels. Hisknow- 

 ledge of the world was vastly supe- 

 rior to mine, and I was all atten- 

 tion to learn. He was the only 

 man I ever saw who was a greater 

 fool than myself where woman was 

 the presiding star ; but he spoke of 

 illicit love with the levity of a sailor, 

 which hitherto I had regarded with 

 horror. Here his friendship did me 

 a mischief; and the consequence 

 was, that soon after I resumed the 

 plough I wrote the Poet's Welcome. 



My reading only increased while 

 in this town by two stray volumes 

 of Pamela, and one of Ferdinand 

 count Fathom, which gave me some 

 idea of novels. Rhyme, except 

 some religious pieces that are in 

 print, I had given up ; but meeting 

 with Fergusson's Scottish Poems, I 

 strung anew my wildly-sounding 

 lyre with emulating vigour. When 

 my father died, his all went among 

 the hell-hounds that growl in the 

 kennel of justice ; but we made a 

 shift to collect a little money in the 

 family amongst us, with v;hich, to 

 keep us together, my brother and I 

 took a neighbouring farm. My 

 brother wanted my hair-brained 

 imagination, as well as my social 

 and amorous madness ; but in good 

 sense, and every sober quality, he 

 was far my superior. 



I entered on this farm with a full 

 resolution, come, go to, I will be 

 wise ; I read farming books ; I cal- 

 culate crops ; I attend markets ; 

 and, in short, in spite of the devil, 

 and the world, and the flesh, I be- 

 lieve I should havebeen awiseman; 

 but the first year, from unfortunate- 

 ly buying bad seed, the second from 

 a late harvest, we lost half our crops. 

 This overset all my wisdom, and I 



returned like the dog to his vomit, 

 and the sow that was washed to her 

 Avallowing in the mire. 



I now began to be known in the 

 neighbourhood as a makerof rhymes. 

 The first of my poetic offspring that 

 saw the light, was a burlesque la- 

 mentation on a quarrel between two 

 reverend Calvinists, both of them 

 dramatis persona in my Holy Fair. 

 I had a notion myself that the piece 

 had some merit; but to prevent 

 the worst, I gave a copy of it to a 

 friend who was very fond of such 

 things, and told him that I could 

 not guess who was the author of it, 

 but that I thought it pretty clever. 

 With a certain description of the 

 clergy, as well as laity, it met with 

 a roar of applause. Holy Willie's 

 Prayer next made its appearance, 

 and alarmed the kirk session so 

 much, that they held several meet- 

 ings to look over their spiritual ar- 

 tillery, if happily any of it might be 

 pointed against profane rhyme. Un- 

 luckily for me, my wanderings led 

 me, on another side, within point 

 blank shot of their heaviest metal. 

 This was a most melancholy affair, 

 which I cannot yet bear to reflect 

 on, and had very nearly given me 

 one or two of the principal qualifi- 

 cations for a place among those who 

 have lost the chart, and mistaken 

 thereckoningofrationality. I gave 

 up my part of the farm to my bro- 

 ther ; in truth it was only nominal- 

 ly mine ; and made what little pre- 

 paration was in my power for Ja- 

 maica. But, before leaving my 

 native country for ever, I resolved 

 to publish my poems. I weighed 

 my productions as impartially as 

 was in my power ; I thought they 

 had merit ; and it was a delicious 

 idea that I should be called a clever 

 fellow, even though it should never 



