NOTES AND QUERIES. 



[2"'«S. VI. ]31.,JnLY3. '58. 



" Beware )'e States and Nobles of this land, 

 The Clergie is but one of these mens buts : 

 The Ape at last on masters necke will stand; 



Then gegge betime these gaping greedie guts, 

 Least that too soone, and then too late ye feele, 

 He strikes at head that first began with heele. 



" The third tricke is, what Apes bj* flattering waies 

 Cannot come by, with biting they will snatch : 

 Our Martin makes no bones, but plainlie sales, 

 Their fists shall walke, they will both bite and 

 scratch. 

 He'il make their hearts to ake, and will not faile, 

 Where pen cannot, their penknife shall prevaile. 



" But this is false, he salth he did but mocke : 

 A foole he was that so his words did scan. 

 He only ment with pen their pates to knocke : 



A Knave he is, that so turns cat in pan. 

 But Martin sweare and stare as deepe as hell. 

 Thy sprite thy spite and mischievous mind doth tell. 



■" The thing that neither Pope with Booke nor Bull, 

 Nor Spanish King with ships could do without, 



Our 3Iartins heere at home will worke at full ; 

 If Prince curbe not betimes the rabble rout. 



That is, destroy both Church, and State, and all ; 



For if t'one faile, the other needes must fall. 



" Thou England then whom God doth make so glad, 

 Through Gospels grace and Princes prudent raigne : 



Take heede least thou at last be made as sad, 



Through Martins makebates marring, to thy paine. 



For he marres all, and maketh nought, nor will. 

 Save lyes and strife, and workes for Englands ill. 



" And ye grave men that answers Martins mowes : 

 He mockes the more, and you in vain loose times: 

 Leave Apes to dogges to baite, their skins tocrowes, 



And let old Lanam* lash him with his rimes. 

 The beast is proud when men wey his enditings : 

 Let his worke goe the waie of all wast writings.f 



" Now Martin, you that saj^ you will spawns out 

 Your broyling brattes in every towne to dwell ; 

 We will provide in each place for your route 



A bell and whippe, that Apes do love so well. 

 And if ye skippe, and will not wey the checke 

 We'll have a springe, and catch you by the necke. 



" And so adieu mad jl/ar«tn-marre-the-land, 



Leave off thy worke, and more worke f, hears't thou 

 me? 

 Thy work's nought worth, take better worke in band : 

 Thou marr'st thy worke, and thy work w^ill marre 

 thee. 

 Worke not a newe, least it doth worke thy wracke. 

 And thou make worke for him that worke doth lacke. 



" And this I warne thee Martins Monckies face. 



Take heed of me, my rime doth charme thee bad : 

 I am a rimer of the Irish race. 



And have alreadie rimde thee staring mad. 

 But if thou ceasest not thy bald jests still to spread, 

 I'le never leave, till I have rimde thee dead." 



• Query, was this old Robert Laneham, " Clerk of t'le 

 Council-Chamber door, and also keeper of the same," the 

 author of the Letter from Killingworlh 9 

 •f D'Israeli's copy reads "fos< writings." 

 i This alludes to the scurrilous reply to Bishop Cooper 

 — Hen/ any Worke for Cooper. 



TTJNBRIDGE VTELLS AT THE COMMENCEMENT OF 

 THE EIGHTEENTH CENTURr. 



I do not find in the Histories of this favourite 

 watering-place by T. B. Burr in 1766, Amsinck 

 in 1810, or John Britton in 18.32, any notice of 

 the pursuits, &c., of the visitors in the early part 

 of the last century : so I send you a description 

 by Mr. Ward, author of the London Spy, in vol. 

 ii. oi Familiar Letters, published by Samuel Briscoe 

 in 1724. He says that — 



" The chiefest pastimes, next the old trade of Basket- 

 making, are the four following : Bowling at Rusthall 

 Green, where fools lose their money, and knaves win it ; 

 Dancing upon Southborough Green ; Walking in the 

 Grove where the Ring-doves coo above, whilst the lovers 

 bill below and project all things in order to make them- 

 selves happy at the next merry meeting ; and Gaming at 

 the Groom-porters, where every one strives to win, whilst 

 the box runs away with the money. Lodgings are so 

 dear and scarce, that a beau is sometimes glad of a barn, 

 and a lady of honour content to lie in a garret : the horses 

 being commonh' put to grass for the servants to lie in the 

 stable. My landlord was a farmer, and his very out- 

 houses were so full that, having sheared some sheep, he 

 abated me half-a-crown a week to let the wool lie in my 

 bedchamber. The most noble of their provisions is a 

 pack-saddle of mutton and a wheat-ear pie, which is ac- 

 counted here a feast for a Heliogabalus, and is indeed so 

 costly a banquet, that a man maj- go over to Amsterdam, 

 treat half a dozen friends with a fish dinner, and bring 

 them back again into their own country almost as cheap 

 as you can give yourself and your mistress a true Tun- 

 bridge wells entertainment. The liquors chiefl5' produced 

 by this part of the country are beer made of wood-dried 

 malt, and wine drawn out of a birch tree : the first is in- 

 fected with such a snioaky tang, that you would think it 

 was brewed in a chimney ; and ever\' pint you drink, in- 

 stead of quenching your draught, begets a thirst after a 

 gallon: the latter as 'tis ordered drinks almost like mead, 

 and makes a man's mouth smell of honey." 



I believe that the fermented juice of the birch- 

 tree is still drank in some parts of England. Can 

 your readers name them ? 



The difference between the gaiety of Tunbridge 

 Weils in the summer and its dulness out of the 

 season, was well marked by the common saying: 

 "Where are you going to?" "To Tunbridge 

 Wells, where did you think ? change me a guinea;" 

 contrasted with the reply, "To Tunbridge Wells, 

 good lack! ! Give me change for a shilling." 



Wm. Dcrbant Cooper, 



81. Guilford Street, Russell Square. 



DESrOBBIUS ERASMUS : THE CICERONIANUS. 



In the accounts which are given of celebrated 

 works which few readers are to see, there is al- 

 most always wanting a good specimen taken from 

 the very work itself. Sometimes it is diflScult to 

 select quotations which are neither too long nor 

 too dependent on context for their force : but in 

 many eases it may be feared that the literary his- 

 torian does not read with sufficient closeness to 



