PRACTICAL JOKES. 65 



therefore, is so short as to be anything but onerous ; 

 hence the early part of the night is devoted to 

 singing, yarning, &c. But I set out with the inten- 

 tion of telling a joke, and as I have digressed a little 

 I hope the reader will pardon me. One fine Sunday 

 morning Kedge Anchor expressed a desire to have 

 his hair cut. Here was an opening — and a conspiracy 

 was immediately formed against his cranial adorn- 

 ment. One went to work and cut his hair. When 

 finished, a dozen voices exclaimed against the bar- 

 barian who had put so outre a cut on his poor head ; 

 others recommended a little more oft" behind. The 

 victim acquiesced, and submitted to the operation. 

 A second, third, fourth, and fifth, lent their aid in 

 denuding his skull, and by the time the last had 

 finished he was a picture for a painter. The poor 

 fellow had not a hair on his head more than a quarter 

 of an inch in length, and, as his forehead was receding, 

 his appearance can be better imagined than described. 

 Suffice it to say, that for weeks after the shearing his 

 appearance was greeted with hearty laughter ; and, as 

 with him laughter was contagious, he always joined 

 in the shout. For a long time he did not discover 

 that he was the butt, but when he did discover his 

 loss he was rather pleased than otherwise at the 

 singularity of his appearance. This is but one of 

 the many tricks of this kind that I have witnessed. 

 I remember seeing a green hand sent to tell the 

 steward to overhaul the captain's chronometer box 

 for a swab to clean up the forecastle. Another sent 

 to the masthead to ask the man stationed there the 

 time of day, or to see if the sun had risen. Another 

 to the officer of the deck to advise hioi to secure the 

 6* B 



