400 CONTINUED DISAPPOINTMENT. 



calling me, and the outstretched arms of loved ones, 

 prompted by affection, were extended towards me 

 to welcome the wanderer home. But in vain did I 

 struggle to reach them, some invisible agency held 

 me back despite my frantic efforts, and with the 

 sweat profusely dropping from my reeking brow, 

 parched tongue and straining eyeballs, I would awake 

 to find it but a dream. 



Thus passed the weary hours until 3 o'clock, when 

 on the calling of the watch I turned out, and took 

 the helm. My attention, of course, was directed first 

 to the wind. My forebodings were too truly realized. 

 There it was, from the northwest ; and, with gloomy 

 resolution, I resigned myself to the decree. Our 

 ofiicer of the deck, scarcely a whit behind me, came 

 to the binnacle for the same purpose. From his 

 anxious and careworn face I could see that he had 

 experienced no refreshment in sleep. Sj'mpathizing 

 with him, I forebore remark; but, after satisfying 

 himself, he turned to me, with a countenance on 

 every line of which was written mental torture, and 

 in a tone that expressed his feelings, he said, "There 

 depart all our bright anticipations — God help me 

 to bear the disappointment !" — and then proceeded 

 moodily to walk the quarter-deck. Again he came, 

 and related to me that on two former occasions, in 

 this same delectable month of March, he had been 

 served in precisely the same way, and wound up by 

 saying, " I shall worry no more ! I am now satisfied 

 that we will not get in before the first of April ; and 

 BO we may as well grin and bear it" 



Unable to control my own thoughts, I perforce 

 allowed them to run fancy free, and whilst so en- 



