THE FOOD OF ANIMALS. 



473 



innumerable infirmities. And this leads us straight into his kitchen 

 ay, his kitchen ! that sweet enchanting tempter, but, at the same 

 time, an inexorable foe to health, the best and truest friend of man. 

 On the day that Oliver Cromwell (there now wants two, by all ac- 

 counts) went to scour the Parliament House, and met Sir Harry 

 Vane in the threshold, he cried out in horror, with uplifted hands, 

 " The Lord deliver me from Sir Harry Vane ! " And I may say, in 

 like manner, on viewing the kitchen, Oh deliver me from the thral- 

 dom of that mortal enemy of my constitution ! It keeps gout under 

 the dresser, and fever in the cupboard. It smiles, and smirks, and 

 smells sweetly, and tempts me beyond my strength ; and then, 

 having overcome my philosophy, like Circe' with the sailors of old, 

 it turns me into a swine. There is no escaping from such an in- 

 sidious destroyer. It puts its every resource in requisition, in order 

 to effect my ruin. Say, ye stern moralists of the day, how can I 

 resist roast beef with horse-radish, mutton with caper-sauce, and 

 lamb with vernal salad ? And when I have unfortunately eaten too 

 much of these, up comes an omelet from the kitchen, smoking hot, 

 and then a cranberry tart, with cheese and celery in the rear. After 

 which, there are fruits and preserves, with a " nunc est bibendum " 



"Jolly mortals, fill your glasses." 



Ye powers of mastication ! what is to become of me ? who can 

 escape from such daily allurements such beautiful manchineels ? 

 All, all are enticing me into the snare, and I am a slave past re- 

 demption. Would there were some prudent doctor from Barataria 

 to put his wand upon the treacherous dishes, and forbid me to touch 

 their contents ! But there are no such true friends now-a-days. All 

 are lavish in the praise of the kitchen. I must give up to them my 

 better judgment. 



" Video meliora, proboque ; 



Deteriora sequor." 



I am a victim to savoury smells and tempting cheer ; whilst some 



mello\v mortal sings, 



*' Oh the joys, the charms of dinner ! 

 Oh the scent, divinely-sweet ! 



