Life of the Duchess of Newcastle 161 



and affectionable dispositions. For to my best remembrance 

 I do not know that ever they did fall out, or had any angry 

 or unkind disputes. Likewise, I did observe that my sisters 

 were so far from mingling themselves with any other company, 

 that they had no familiar conversation or intimate acquain- 

 tance with the families to which each other were linked to by 

 marriage, the family of the one being as great strangers to 

 the rest of my brothers and sisters as the family of the other. 



But sometime after this war began, I knew not how they 

 lived. For though most of them were in Oxford, wherein 

 the King was, yet after the Queen went from Oxford, and so 

 out of England, I was parted from them. For when the 

 Queen was in Oxford I had a great desire to be one of her 

 maids of honour, hearing the Queen had not the same number 

 she was used to have. Whereupon I wooed and won my 

 mother to let me go ; for my mother, being fond of all her 

 children, was desirous to please them, which made her consent 

 to my request. But my brothers and sisters seemed not very 

 well pleased, by reason I had never been from home, nor 

 seldom out of their sight ; for though they knew I would not 

 behave myself to their or my own dishonour, yet they thought 

 I might to my disadvantage, being inexperienced in the world. 

 Which indeed I did, for I was so bashful when I was out of 

 my mother's, brothers', and sisters' sight, whose presence used 

 to give me confidence — thinking I could not do amiss whilst 

 any one of them were by, for I knew they would gently reform 

 me if I did ; besides, I was ambitious they should approve of 

 my actions and behaviour — that when I was gone from them, 

 I was like one that had no foundation to stand, or guide to 

 direct me, which made me afraid, lest I should wander with 

 ignorance out of the ways of honour, so that I knew not how 

 to behave myself. Besides, I had heard that the world was 

 apt to lay aspersions even on the innocent, for which I durst 

 neither look up with my eyes, nor speak, nor be any way 

 sociable, insomuch as I was thought a natural fool. Indeed 

 I had not much wit, yet I was not an idiot, my wit was accord- 

 ing to my years ; and though I might have learnt more wit, 

 and advanced my understanding by living in a Court, yet 

 being dull, fearful, and bashful, I neither heeded what was 

 said or practised, but just what belonged to rny loyal duty, 

 and my own honest reputation. And, indeed, I was so afraid 



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