The Merry Past 



speech. One of them, for instance, having killed a dog 

 with the sharp end of a marling-spike, was cited by 

 the owner of it before the magistrate, who asked him 

 how he could have taken the life of the canine assail- 

 ant. The sailor having answered that he had done 

 so in his own defence, the man of authority said : 

 " But you ought to have made use of the butt-end of 

 your weapon, and not the point." " Yes, I would 

 certainly have done so, plase your worship," replied 

 the accused, " if the dog had bitten me with his tail, 

 and not with his teeth." 



Another, belonging to a man-of-war, having been 

 for his good behaviour promoted from a fore-mast 

 man to a boatswain, was ordered on shore by his 

 captain to receive his commission at the Admiralty 

 Office. Jack went accordingly, and afterwards thus 

 described his reception to his companions : " I bore 

 away large," said he, '' for the Admiralty Ofhce, and 

 on entering the harbour, I espied a dozen or two 

 quill-drivers. I hailed 'em ; not a word said they. 

 ' Hollo ! ' again said I. Not a word said they. ' Shiver 

 my top-sails, but what can this mean ? ' said I. Then 

 I took a guinea from my pocket, and holding it up to 

 my peeper, ' Hollo ! " again said I. ' Oh, hollo ! ' 

 returned they. ' So, so, my boys,' cried I, ' you arc 

 like Balaam's ass, are you ? You could not speak 

 until you saw the angel ! ' " 



A sailor who turned his sense of humour to a 

 prosperous purpose was Darby Alleyne, the Bristol 

 captain, who sailed for the West Indies at a time when 

 the Antilles were blockaded by the enemy. One 



I02 



