The Merry Past 



island being closely pressed, was actually in a state 

 of {starvation ; and the Bristolian, who determined 

 to get there if possible, after fighting in the most 

 gallant manner, reached the port. The famished 

 inhabitants enquired what his cargo was, and were 

 answered, " Cheeses and grindstones." " Oh, d — n 

 your grindstones ! " said they ; " our noses have been 

 pretty well brought to that already — land your cheese, 

 my boy, that is what we want." " I am sorry, gentle- 

 men," said Darby ; " you shall not have one without 

 the other. But a cheese and a grindstone — a cheese 

 and a grindstone — as long as you please ; you shall 

 buy both or neither." What could they do ? There 

 was only one shop to go to, and therefore, for the 

 sake of the cheese, they put up with the grindstone. 



When the brave Admiral Kempenfelt, unhappily 

 lost in the " Royal George," was coming into port to 

 have his ship paid off, a sailor eyed a gold-laced velvet 

 waistcoat which his commodore wore with great 

 earnestness, and, in his best sea fashion, begged to 

 know who made it. The admiral, perceiving his 

 drift, gave him the necessary information, and Jack 

 went ashore. He forthwith applied to the admiral's 

 tailor, who, knowing the humours of his customers, 

 went with him to buy the materials, and at last asked 

 him what he would have the back made of. " Made 

 of ? " said Jack; " the same as the front, to be sure." 

 The tailor remonstrated, but in vain ; so the waist- 

 coat was made, and put on with an old greasy jacket 

 over it. One day, in the High Street, the admiral 

 met his man in his curious dress, which occasioned 



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