The Merry Past 



out the national debt, you may yet see me in a work- 

 house." His landed interest was at that time very 

 considerable, and his museum worth much more 

 than the twenty thousand pounds which was given 

 for it by Parliament. 



The economies of " Miser Cooke " were notorious. 

 Once, when his horse had a disease in the eyes, Cooke, 

 who mortally hated to pay any medical man, listened 

 to the quackery of some silly journeyman farrier, 

 who told him to take thirty onions, run a string 

 through them, and then putting them round the 

 horse's neck, like a necklace, let him wear them 

 continually, till, drawing the humour out of the horse's 

 eyes, the onions would get dry and shrivelled, and 

 the eyes get well. Cooke, who had not the heart 

 to purchase thirty onions, bought half the number, 

 and did as he was told with them. But, as usual, 

 determined nothing should be thrown away, at a 

 fortnight's end he took them off the horse's neck, 

 put them into a hand-basket, and brought them into 

 the house, as if just returned from market, desiring 

 his maids to make a dish of onion porridge of them 

 for that day's dinner. The maids, however, knowing 

 well from whence they came, peremptorily refused 

 to cook them, which, as usual, set the old gentleman 

 cursing and swearing that he would not leave them 

 a farden in his will — a threat which did not alarm 

 them, knowing well that to disappoint expectants 

 was his greatest delight. 



On another occasion Cooke bargained with a 

 stable-keeper to let his horse have the run of a field at 



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