1882 



GLEANINGS m JiEE CULTURE. 



359 



ra. If she slioukl tell him that, unless he 

 gave up tobacco she would leave him, he 

 would, very likely, choose to hold to tobacco 

 and let his wife go. I say this from what I 

 know of husbands in general, and from some 

 experience I have had of my own. It can 

 not be done by might nor by power ; in fact, 

 might and power would probably tend to 

 harden his heart, and might be the means of 

 making him continue to use it, where he 

 would stop if let alone, lleproacheswill not 

 do it, for the most of us know, by our own 

 hearts, that reproaches only make us stub- 

 born. If you will excuse the liberty, my 

 dear friend Mrs. !>., I fear there is some- 

 thing in your letter that sounds like reproach- 

 es. You use the term "■exemplary father." 

 This is not only a reproach, but it tends to- 

 ward sarcasm. Not only should no word of 

 this kind be used toward the soul we would 

 save, but no such thought should ever enter 

 our hearts. Not by censure, not by sarcasm, 

 for these are Satan's weapons ; but by the 

 weapons of kindness and love, for these are 

 the ones, and the only ones, furnished by 

 Jesus for his followers. It would seem very 

 strange to tell that woman she must tirst 

 love her husband before she can hope to re- 

 deem him ; but I fear it is a sad fact, that 

 the great element lacking, not only in the 

 world, but in the family, and eveu in the 

 church, is this same Christian love and for- 

 bearance that would no more allow one to 

 think of using reproach or censure toward 

 the one who was to be saved, than he would 

 be caught shouting and throwing bricks at a 

 horse in a ten-acre lot, when he wanted to 

 catch him. If this element of harsh judg- 

 ment and censure could all be got out of the 

 heart, and kindness and love made to take 

 the place of it, we could almost say with 



Paul, " I can do all things through Christ 



which strengtheneth me." 



I do not mean to say that the man is right, 

 by any means, nor do 1 advise that the wife 

 should take no steps toward a reformation in 

 her family ; but I do mean to urge the little 

 text that says, " Judge not, and ye shall not 

 be judged : condemn not, and ye shall not 

 be condemned." Eemember that even Je- 

 sus himself refused to pass judgment on a 

 man when one came to him asking him to 

 make his brother divide the property aright, 

 or something of that sort. '" ^lan, who made 

 me a divider or a ruler over you V " If our 

 Lord and Savior declined to pass judgment, 

 how very far ought we to be from undertak- 

 ing a similar office ! And now, my friend, 

 forgive me if I press this matter home a lit- 

 tle further. I will take it myself with you, 

 for I know I need it most sadly. lie spoke 

 of taking a mote out of a brother's eye ; and 

 then come these words : " First cast out the 

 beam out of thine own eye ; and then shalt 

 thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of 

 thy brother's eye." It has only lately begun 

 to dawn on my imderstanding, the great 

 truth that lies in tiiis little text. If you and 

 I, my friend, expect to assist in conquering 

 the world by the power of Christ's spirit, I 

 tell you our vision must not be clouded by a 

 disposition to judge harshly and condemn 

 hastily. You see, that the worst trouble is, 

 that the one who condemns in such an inju- 



rious way does not see the great beam that 

 is in his own eye, and, very likely, insists he 

 is all right while everybody else is all wrong. 

 Even church-members sometimes get in a 

 way of reproving and rebuking each other 

 when the sin of judging and condemning is 

 a great beam, while the sin of the brother 

 who is' rebuked is but a mere mote in com- 

 parison. In temperance work, the danger of 

 getting so earnest in the cause as to con- 

 demn hastily and judge harshly is very 

 great. We Christians forget that the great 

 key of success consists in doing good to 

 those who hate us. In doing good to those 

 ivho hate ns. Over and over again these 

 words have been read in our J3ibles, and yet 

 even Christians, when they come face to 

 face with the matter in the affairs of every- 

 day life, blindly imagine they are to con- 

 quer by hating back, and doing an unkind- 

 ness back again. Did you ever see or hear 

 of anybody who, when he was stirred up by 

 unkind and harsh usage, had the grace to 

 stop, right in the midst of his anger, and 

 turn about and do a kindness to the one who 

 misused him ? If you did not, how do you 

 suppose it would work ? What would be his 

 power to save souls, and — get husbands to 

 stop using tobacco before their boys ? Some 

 one remarked in our teachers' meeting, that 

 such a way " goes so terribly against the 

 grain," or across our own feelings and incli- 

 nations, and that is why they are called 

 crosses. 



Do you not know what David said on this 

 matter V " Create in me a clean heart, O 

 God, and renew a right spirit within me." 

 You see, this was asking God to take the 

 beam out of his own eye, and he realized the 

 need of it, and the power it would give ; for 

 he says, right afterward, " Then will I 

 teach transgressors thy ways, and sinners 

 shall be converted unto thee"" Truly would 

 he then be able to successfully remove the 

 mote from his brother's eye. Which is it we 

 want most, to have this man stop using to- 

 bacco, or to have him become a Christian? 

 How shall this wife proceed? I will tell you 

 how I M'ould advise her to proceed, and I 

 am a man, and know how a man takes such 

 things from his wife. I'es, I remember very 

 well how an ungodly man takes such things. 

 Well, wait until some time when he feels 

 pleasant, and the tobacco subject is furthest 

 from his thoughts. If it is a customary 

 thing for you to sit by his side and have 

 hold of his hand, you are ready to proceed. 

 If it is not a customary thing for you to so 

 sit, I should say you are not yet ready to say 

 a word on the subject of tobacco. You are 

 to get ready by winning his love and grati- 

 tude by kind acts and kind offices. Y''ou 

 won him once, and you can again. Y''ou 

 once loved him, and you must love him 

 again, even as your Savior loves you. Pray 

 for yourself, and pray for him. It may take 

 weeks and perhaps months for you to get the 

 beams out of your own eyes or heart, so that 

 you are ready to commence on the tobacco 

 question. We will suppose that the time 

 has come, and you are by his side, and have 

 hold of his hand. 

 " Husband, may I say a word on tobacco?" 

 Now, if his looks as well as words show he 



