MANNERS, CUSTOMS, AND 



stretched out, by my front gate, against the public highway ; 

 and, if he had followed the example of NOAH, he would not have 

 endeavoured to excuse himself in the modest manner that he did, 

 but would have affixed an everlasting curse on me and my children 

 to all generations. 



366. The soldiers, in the regiment that I belonged to, many of 

 whom served in the American war, had a saying, that the Quakers 

 used the word tired in place of the word drunk. Whether any of 

 them do ever get tired themselves, I know not ; but, at any rate 

 they most resolutely set their faces against the common use of 

 spirits. They forbid their members to retail them ; and, in case 

 of disobedience, they disown them. 



367. However, there is no remedy but the introduction of beer, 

 and, I am very happy to know, that beer is, every day, becoming 

 more and more fashionable. At Bristol in Pennsylvania, I was 

 pleased to see excellent beer in clean and nice pewter pots. Beer 

 does not kill. It does not eat out the vitals and take the colour 

 from the cheek. It will make men &quot; tired,&quot; indeed, by midnight ; 

 but it does not make them half dead in the morning. We call 

 wine the juice of the grape, and such it is with a proporton of, 

 ardent spirits, equal, in Portugal wine, to a fifth of the w r ine ; and 

 therefore, when a man has taken down a bottle of Port or of 

 Madeira, he has nearly half a pint of ardent spirits in him. And 

 yet how many foolish mothers give their children Port wine to 

 strengthen them ! I never like your wine-physicians, though they 

 are great favourites with but too many patients. BONIFACE, in 

 the Beaux Stratagem, says that he has eaten his ale, drunk his ale, 

 worked upon his ale, and slept upon his ale, for forty years, and 

 that he has grown fatter and fatter ; but, that his wife (God rest 

 her soul !) would not take it pure ; she would adulterate it with 

 brandy ; till, at last, finding that the poor woman was never well, 

 he put a tub of her favourite by her bedside, which, in a short 

 time, brought her &quot; a happy release &quot; from this &quot; state of pro 

 bation,&quot; and carried her off into the &quot; the world of spirits.&quot; 

 Whether Boniface meant this as a. pun, I do not know ; for, really, 

 if I am to judge from the practice of many of the vagrant fanatics, 

 I must believe, that, when they rave about the spirit s entering 

 them, they mean that which goes out of a glass down their throat. 

 Priests may make what they will of their devil ; they may make 

 him a reptile with a forked tongue, or a beast with a cloven hoof; 

 they may, like Milton, dress him out with seraphic wings ; or 

 like Saint Francis, they may give him horns and tail : but, I say 

 that the devil, who is the strongest tempter, and who produces the 

 most mischief in the world, approaches us in the shape of liquid, /*. 

 not melted brimstone, but wine, gin, brandy, rum, and whiskey. 

 One comfort is, however, that this devil, of whose existence we 

 can have no doubt, who is visible and even tangible, we can, if we 

 will, without the aid of priests, or, rather, in spite of them, easily 

 .and safely set at defiance. There are many wrong things which 



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