GOVERNMENT, LAWS, ETC. 



446. Such is the character of the great body of Hampshire 

 Parsons. I know of no body of men so despicable, and yet, what 

 sums of public money do they swallow ! It now remains for me 

 to speak more particularly of BAKER, he who, for your sins I 

 suppose, is fastened upon you as your Parson. But what I have 

 to say of this man must be the subject of another Letter. That 

 it should be the subject of any letter at all may well surprize all 

 who know the man ; for not one creature knows him without 

 despising him. But, it is not BAKER, it is the scandalous priest, 

 that I strike at. It is the impudent, profligate, hardened priest 

 that I will hold up to public scorn. 



447. When I see the good and kind people here going to church 

 to listen to some decent man of good moral character and of sober 

 quiet life, I always think of you. You are just the same sort of 

 people as they are here ; but, what a difference in the Clergyman ! 

 What a difference between the sober, sedate, friendly man who 

 preaches to one of these congregations, and the greedy, chattering, 

 lying, backbiting, mischief-making, everlasting plague, that you 

 go to hear, and are compelled to hear, or stay away from the church. 

 Baker always puts me in mind of the Magpie. 



The Magpie, bird of chatt ring fame, 

 Whose tongue and hue bespeak his name; 

 The first a squalling clam rous clack, 

 The last made up of white and black; 

 Feeder alike on flesh and corn, 

 Greedy alike at eve and morn; 

 Of all the birds the prying pest, 

 Must needs be Parson o er the rest. 



448. Thus I began a fable, when I lived at Botley. ^ I have 

 forgotten the rest of it. It will please you to hear that there are 

 go Magpies in America ; but, it will please you still more to hear, 

 tnalJlU meTi thai iesem!51e them are parsons here. I have some 

 times been half tempted to believe, that the Magpie first suggested 

 to tyrants the idea of having a tithe-eating Clergy. The Magpie 

 devours the corn and grain ; so does the Parson. The Magpie 

 takes the wool from the sheep s backs ; so does the Parson. The 

 Magpie devours alike the young animals and the eggs ; so does the 

 Parson. The Magpie s clack is everlastingly going ; so is the 

 Parson s. The Magpie repeats by rote words that are taught it ; 

 so does the Parson. The Magpie is always skipping and hopping 

 and peeping into other s nests : so is the Parson. The Magpie s 

 colour is partly black and partly white ; so is the Parson s. The 

 Magpie s greediness, impudence, and cruelty are proverbial ; so 

 are those of the Parson. I was saying to a farmer the other day, 

 that if the Boroughmongers had a mind to ruin America, they 

 would another time, send over five or six good large flocks of 

 Magpies, instead of five or six of their armies ; but, upon second 

 thought, they would do the thing far more effectually by sending 

 over five or six flocks of their Parsons, and getting the people to 

 receive them and cherish them as the Bulwark of religion. 



END OF PART II. 



