3 



OUR HOMES. 



Nov. 



speakinu; of imaiiinary things, I assure you, 

 for there i.s one home that I have I'ecently vis- 

 ited, from whicli I shall have to draw largely, 

 before I get through, and I earnestly hope I 

 may be able to show you the spirit of it, if 

 nothing more. When I say that the tirst stone 

 of tlie foundation of all our work is to be the 

 most perfect good nature on all sides, many of 

 you may say that your homes possess it al- 

 ready, because you never liave any downright 

 ([uarrels. This is all very good, but is not sutfl- 

 cient for the foundation wc want. To illustrate: 



I passed a couple of days in a very pleasant 

 family, recently, and had been talking on this 

 same point. Husband, wife, and four pretty, 

 well behaved children, seemed to constitute 

 almost a model household. Well, on Sabbath 

 afternoon, I — it may be (oo earnestly — urged 

 that we should attend a Bible class, in charge 

 of a lady wiio was tloing a great work of re- 

 formation in their town. The husband kindly 

 offered to stay and take charge of their four 

 months old little one, and the consequence 

 was that almost before we knew it, two hours 

 liad passed. As we neared their home, our ani- 

 mated talk in regard to what we had witness- 

 ed, was interrupted by cries of the ])aby 

 Avhich evidently touched the mother's heart at 

 once. 



"Why my dear husl)and I how long has baby 

 been ci'ying in this way?" 



"She commenced shortly after you left." 



"And you have allowed her to cry all this 

 time 'r" 



"How could I help it? I did everything I 

 could think of; didn't expect you would stay 

 so TCi'y long." 



"I declare ! this is always just the way if I 

 go out and leave you with the baby." 



That was all; it was only a very little thing 

 but both looked pained and unhappj'. This 

 wore off after a time, and both were as pleas- 

 ant as usual ; perfectly right, perhaps you will 

 say, such Utile things are not worth taking up 

 and noticing again, but 1 cannot feel that it is 

 right. It seems to me that husbands and 

 wives — I wouhl like to say, or anybody else, 

 but they don't care so much for each other, 

 and are not so easily touched, — should never 

 speak to each other in this way, or at least if 

 they do, the.y should acknowledge their error 

 as soon as their stubborn natures will come 

 'into subjection. Ifyuu are tempted to think 

 this all trifling, remember wh(i it is that has 

 said, "he that ruleth himself is greater than he 

 that taketh a city." In the evening before 

 retiring I ventured to suggest that the speech 

 was hardly a kind one, and I recalled it to 

 mind. 



"But it is the truth ; it is just the way when 

 I leave him with the baby!" 



Every time I repeat the little circumstance 

 in the i)resence of nxjtliers, they seem with 

 one accord to agree that she was nearl.y if not 

 quite, justified in speaking as she did. Now 

 perhaps I had better take care that I do not 

 become dictatorial, or get into argument, for 

 argument so often results only in strengthen- 

 ing both parties in error, that I earnestly hope 

 I may avoid it. I also would avoid any lin- 

 gering disposition to excuse my own sex. 

 ♦ Iranting that he had been very h(;artless in 

 allowing the baby to cry nearly two hours. 



Avhat was the very best thing to do tinder the 

 circumstances V or rather, what is best to do 

 under all circumstances where we are likely 

 to feel the least disposition to tell people 

 wherein they have been wrong while we have 

 been right, and to go even further, any disi)o- 

 sition to complain of anybody or anything in 

 a fretful, faultfinding waj', irhdteve)- the prov- 

 ocation may have been V Is it not possible to 

 have such perfect command over ourselves 

 that instead of feeling the slightest disposition 

 to retaliate, we can coolly consider how best 

 any bad matter may be remedied, and at the 

 same time make the author of the mischief a 

 better man or woman, as the case may be V A 

 great part of the world prides itself on remem- 

 bering a favor, and on being fair and liberal 

 with those who have shown a similar spirit, 

 but in our model household we wish each 

 member to emphaiically bear in mind the glo- , 

 rious doctrine of returning good for evil, and 

 that a blessijig follows from applying it, in 

 the most trivial actions as well as the greater 

 affairs of life. In regard to the baljy I would 

 suggest that as soon as the state of aft'airs was 

 seen, the mother should at once assume all the 

 blame, if any blame there was, and mildly 

 apologise to the troubled husband for her pro- 

 tracted stay; this v,'ould have at once brought 

 out his better self, even Iiad he performed his 

 duties indifferently; and by the way, in no 

 manner can a parent so well show that he "ru- 

 leth himself," as by being at all times ready to 

 take all the blame of any misunderstanding. 

 Show that your shoulders are broad, and that 

 you can bear to be blamed for that which you 

 fiave not done, and above all things, do not 

 fall into the cowardlj' habit of arguing over 

 "whose fault it was," in the little things that 

 «i7^ continually go wrong. Careful investiga- 

 tion of the case in (juestion revealed the fact 

 that the tube of the baby's nursing-bottle was 

 of an inferior quality of rubber, and had be- 

 come so softened liy the milk- as to cause the 

 sides to adhere together, and so the "precious 

 little darling" had perha])s tugged away at it 

 until long after forbearance had ceasetl to be a 

 virtue, and then it had simply vented its right- 

 eous indignation toward all modern innova- 

 tions of whatever nature, that stood in the 

 way of supplying even such a little speck of 

 humanity with its needful nourishment. Its 

 pai)a doul)tless after having "interviewed" all 

 the machinery to the best of his inexperienced 

 judgment, concluded that it must be crying 

 simply to have its mamma come home, a feel- 

 ing in which he probably heartily joined at the 

 time, and so both waited in — guess we'll say 

 wipdtience , while the "long minutes" slowly 

 dragged by. Had the makers of these rubber 

 goocls been faithful in little things, all this 

 might I'.ave ])een avoided, and I confess we all 

 intlulged in some rather severe censures on the 

 way things were made "only to sell," but in 

 thinking of it since, I fear we did not do our 

 duty. Manufacturers, jobbers, retailers, and 

 business men generally, are fellow creatures, 

 and an- probably just as good, and just as con- 

 scientious as we are. Ask yourself if — when 

 j'oii are inclined to censure some one— you 

 would do any better if you were in the same 

 lousiness or jjlace. If you say you would, we 

 must take it for granted that you are better 



