1S79 



GLEANINGS IX BEE CULTURE. 



107 



Mr c ilmm> 



We have made a covenant with death. ;m'l with 

 hell are we ;it agreement; when the overflowing 

 scourge shall pass thronarh, it shall not come unto 

 us; forwehave made lies our refuge, and under 

 falsehood have we birl ourselves. Isaiah. 23; 15. 



MY friends. I am aware that many will 

 object to the subject I am about to 

 ~ take up. ami those who have objected 

 to my speaking so much about myself will. 

 perhaps, object vehemently. Perhaus all 

 such would better stop right here, and read 

 no farther. You can cut out these two 

 leaves, and burn them up, if they annoy you. 

 and your bee journal will be full and com- 

 plete without them. I write thus, because I 

 know, by ]>ist experience thai it is in tins 

 way I have been mast successful in reaching 

 the hearts of those who. tempted like my- 

 self, have been led to the feet of the Savior, 

 by these same Home Palters. 



I was carefully brouarhi up. by kind Chris- 

 tian parents, and until I was. perhaps. 13 or 

 U years old. attended Sabbath school regu- 

 larly, and enjoyed it. Asnearh as I can make 

 out. I strayed away from these things first, 

 through reading sensational fiction. The 

 N. Y. Ledyer. perhaps more than any other 

 one thing, led my thoughts in a wrong chan- 

 nel. I well remember the first number that 

 came out. In my youth. I was a greal read- 

 er, and read everything; I can remember 

 hunting over everything in the house, and 

 devouring even the spelling book and dic- 

 tionary. Once when on a visit to my aunt, 

 a neighboring woman who called in. com- 

 plimented me on being so studious. My 

 aunt expressed anxiety in regard to what it 

 was that was read. 



The woman replied, ••oh. ["don't think it 

 makes much difference what they read, so 

 long as you keep them reading." 



I was, at the time, reading a sensational 

 novel, lam afraid too many parents think 

 their boys of 14 years old safely employed, 

 providing they are reading sorrwthiny, as did 

 this woman. 



From my earliest childhood. I believe I 

 1 a 'e always shown a preference lor the oth- 

 er sex. In my plays. I generally chose girls 

 for my mates, and I believe I was generally 

 a favorite with them. There is nothing 

 wrong in this, and I believe a young man 

 who mingles freely with young women of 

 his own age, safer, as a general thing, than 

 one who does not. 



I believe one great reason why we lack 

 charity for each other is because our pecu- 

 liar temptations are so unlike. One who is 

 naturally truthful, who does not talk a great 

 deal, and who has little temptation to exag- 

 gerate things, or to make large statements, 

 would be very likely to have little patience 

 with one who. like myself, is a great talker, 

 and has to light continually, against the dis- 

 position to give a very erroneous view of 

 matters. One of us may have a besetting 

 sin of penuriousness. and another, looking 

 on, may wonder how it is possible that a man 

 can be so "little and mean."" just because 

 he can not understand that the man has a 



constantly besetting temptation in that di- 

 rection. Of late, when I hear a man called 

 stingy and small in deal, I always want to 

 take his part, not because I am tempted 

 that way. hut because I am tempted in oth- 

 er ways, to sins so much more heinous in the 

 sight of God, that I feel for him. 



The outgrowth of my novel reading led 

 me into a way of trifling with the other sex, 

 of thinking it a smart thing to Hatter them 

 indiscriminately, and of studying to do it so 

 adroitly that even those who were older and 

 wiser than myself, were misled by me. 

 That is a pretty hard accusation I know, 

 and those who have no temptations of the 

 kind will hardly know how to excuse it. At 

 that very time, had thousands (if dollars 

 been entrusted to my care, without the 

 owners knowing anything about bow much 

 he had given me, I think I should have had 

 no temptation at all, to appropriate a copper 

 of it; very likely the idea would never have 

 entered my head, that it might have been 

 done. We may be scrupulously honest on 

 all points except one. and yet on that point 

 may be as callous as the most hardened rep- 

 robate. And still be a Christian'! 1 By no 

 means: you can not be a Christian, so long 

 as you are willfully breaking a single one of 

 the commandments. ••(Jive me a clean 

 heart. O God," is the prayer of him who is 

 accepted of Christ, and where one is con- 

 scious of willful transgression in any one 

 respect, von may be sure the subject of re- 

 ligion will be to him a distasteful one. Of 

 course. I began about this time to find the 

 Sunday school uninteresting, and pretty 

 soon, religion was a piece of old fashioned 

 superstition. I did not quite like the socie- 

 ty of infidels at first, and when I came 

 across Universalism, I took a strong liking 

 to that. I wanted a kind of half way 

 ground, where I could have freedom or 

 thought and action. I remember having 

 some compunctions of conscience, at differ- 

 ent times, but in talking the matter over 

 with some of my new associates, it was de- 

 cided that "girls were expected to take care 

 of themselves; it was their business, of 

 covrsi ." 



With such a doctrine, <lo yon think it at 

 all strange that sermons did me little, if any 

 goodV That the Sabbath day was distaste- 

 ful, unless— why. oh ! why, has it become a 

 custom of our nation to use the Sabbath day 

 (the holiest and most sacred time, which 

 God has set apart when man may draw near 

 to. and be taught of. Himself), and espe- 

 cially Sabbath evenings, for wicked trifling': 1 



If there is one thing in my life that I 

 thank God for more than another, it is that 

 lie gave me a woman for a wife, who has 

 been not only a help-meet, but a patient, 

 kind friend, through all my sellish and wick- 

 ed life. I thank God for giving her to me, 

 because I had little to do with the matter 

 myself. It was a new face anil her shy, 

 diffident way. that attracted me, if anything. 

 I was happy with her. and by her side, like 

 all the rest of you. I presume. For several 

 years 1 was a kind husband and father, but 

 it was more because no temptation offered 

 to be otherwise, than because of any credit 

 on my part. I did right, simply because it 



