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GLEANINGS IN BEE CULTUEE. 



Nov 



along like a man, and do your duty, and, if 

 you should find you have made a mistake 

 once, remember it was a mistake in trying 

 to do God's service, and it will show your 

 zeal in his cause, if nothing more. 1 ' 



Off I start in the dark, praying meanwhile 

 for strength, courage, ability, energy, wis- 

 dom, and all that seems lacking. If my path 

 is among those who are poor and needy, I do 

 not mind it so much, for I can almost always 

 give help by throwing employment in their 

 way, or something of that sort, but when I 

 am sent to meet a man of the world, who 

 has wealth and plenty, and is perhaps far 

 wiser than I, my faith fails. Perhaps I will 

 go on past his house, trying to get up cour- 

 age. As in the case of the boy with the 

 sliver in his finger, delay is only a waste of 

 time, and I have less courage, instead of 

 more. Sometimes, in sheer fright, I turn a- 

 bout and start home, but the voice of con- 

 science pulls me up again, and tells me that 

 if I begin a retreat, I shall be likely to back 

 out even sooner. Think of retreating before 

 you have even caught a glimpse of the enemy. 

 David had a sling and some pebbles, but I 

 have nothing, not even an excuse for my 

 call ; but the same God that went with David 

 is with me. 



After I have once entered, Satan seems to 

 have"given up the job". Perhaps he starts 

 off for some one else, with whom he can 

 make more headway. I know it is well to 

 have these struggles, for I should not pray 

 did I not fear, and I should also be relying 

 on my own strength and wisdom. When I 

 am afraid of my own abilities, and depend 

 upon and expect God to help me, I get along 

 much better. I am ushered into the pres- 

 ence that I so much dreaded, but all dread 

 and fear is all gone. I always ask permis- 

 sion to speak before going into details, and 

 it has never been refused, although, some- 

 times, it seems given a little reluctantly. 

 When I get into my work, I seldom think of 

 the lapse of time, and when the time comes 

 for me to leave, I think of the different way 

 in which I go out of the door entered so 

 tremblingly. Generally, I leave friends 

 that, something tells me, will stand by me, 

 for the rest of my life, even though they do 

 not have the faith and belief in God that I 

 have. How different is my walk home ! Be- 

 fore I went tremblingly, and praying step by 

 step for help ; now I step joyously, finding 

 my heart so full that it is hard to keep from 

 singing hymns of praise and thanks, even at 

 the risk of having passers by think me crazy 

 again. As I lay my weary head upon the 

 pillow, I am happy, very happy ; and as 

 slumber begins to steal over my senses, then 

 comes the feeling that invisible presences 

 are gathering round me, and bidding me 

 remember that I am not alone, but that 



They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their 

 strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; 

 they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall 

 walk, and not faint.— Is. XL. 31. 



But, is there not such a thing as getting 

 an idea that we are called to do a certain 

 thing, when, really, we are moved by some 

 other motive or influence than the one God 

 gives us? Without question, my friends; 

 but, in such cases, the approving voice of 



conscience never follows. I think this 

 voice, after an act has been performed(if not 

 before), will always tell us when we are in 

 the right. A great deal depends upon what 

 our habits have been in the matter ; for I 

 know, by past experience, that the voice of 

 conscience may be stilled, in time, so that 

 we shall be scarcely conscious of its warning. 

 One who seeks and prays for this evidence, 

 will learn to hear its calls, almost as if it 

 were an audible voice. I have told you be- 

 fore, how this voice seemed to direct my 

 course during the Home Papers written last 

 spring. I sometimes wondered whether it 

 were not possible, that I had strayed into 

 some of the by paths spoken of by Bunyan 

 in his u Pilgrims Progress," and whether it 

 might not be that I was getting into wild 

 and mistaken grounds. The feeling, which 

 I have tried to illustrate, by the boy who 

 decided to have the sliver out, and the one 

 who confessed about the stolen magnet, and 

 the individual who gave up the property, is 

 exactly the one I felt, after each number of 

 the journal came out. 



Another verse of the little hymn used to 

 be almost constantly with me. 



Let the worll despise and leave m?, 



They have left mv Savior too; 

 Human hearts and looks deceive me, 



Thou art not, like them, untrue. 

 And whilst thou shalt smile upon me, 



(Jod of wisd >m, love, and might, 

 Foes may hate and friends may scorn me, 



Show thy face, and all is bright. 



I really believe the very happiest hours of 

 my life were during the height of public 

 feeling against me, and, in breathing the 

 last four lines of the little hymn above, it 

 seemed as if the very presence of my Savior 

 were going about with me through my daily 

 duties. My poor wife lost courage and faith 

 and worried about it when I was absent at 

 my work, but when I was present, her faith 

 returned. Said she one day, 

 "When you are away, I see troubles insur- 

 mountable, but when I see your face, and 

 hear your cheerful voice, all doubts are gone 

 at once, and I have not a particle of doubt 

 but that God is with you, and will take care 

 of you." Those days were so very quiet and 

 peaceful, without a single chiding voice from 

 conscience, that I began almost to wonder 

 if she had not deserted her post, and I had 

 gone crazy, as the people said • but, in less 

 then one hour after that thought, God show- 

 ed me the fallacy of it. 



It was Saturday, and a comb fdn. mill had 

 been positively promised by a certain time. 

 By some carelessness, the wood work for the 

 stand had not been sent to Mr. Washbv 

 as it should have been. As there wasj 

 school, I told my boy to get up the horse! 

 wagon, at once, and take it up to Mr. " 

 shop, and that he must also deliver some 

 lumber to another man, enjoining him to be 

 sure and do it right off. The roads were 

 terribly muddy, as they are often here in the 

 spring of the year, and it was almost all a 

 horse could do to draw an empty wagon. 



Towards noon, Mr. W. came down for his 

 wood work. 



"Why, did not Ernest bring it to you ?" 



"I have not seen him." 



I made inquiries. Finally, one of the 



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