1879 



GLEANINGS IN BEE CULTUBE. 



457 



hands said he came down with the wagon, 

 but that some one told him it was too muddy 

 to draw the lumber, and so he took the horse 

 and wagon back home. 



"But. I have been in the office all the time ; 

 why did he not ask me who gave him his or- 

 ders, before taking advice from some one 

 else V" 



I finally found that Mr. Gray, not know- 

 ing of the fdn. mill, had supposed all he came 

 with the horse for, was to carry the lumber, 

 and he had told him it was too muddy. It 

 was simply a misunderstanding, but I rea- 

 soned that my boy, when he was right close 

 to me, should, at least have notified me who 

 gave him his orders, before going back home, 

 through the deep mud. As I also told him 

 most emphatically, about the fdn. mill, I 

 could not see any excuse for such vexatious 

 conduct. I forgot that one of the most nat- 

 ural and besetting sins of boyhood, is a want 

 of thoroughness and care, until they have 

 learned the need of it by experience. I was 

 fast getting- into a mood, to scold severely, 

 and the more I thought of it, the more my 

 "righteous(V) indignation" rose up, and in 

 spite of the voice of conscience to look out, 

 and "go slowly, 1 ' I pushed ahead, got my 

 hat, and started for home with rapid strides. 

 On my way, conscience kept warning me, 

 and I had no doubt then, about its being 

 there all right, but my old self kept saying 

 that man must have his fdn. mill as agreed, 

 and that my boy ought to be taught a lesson, 

 for such heedless disregard of what I told 

 him to do. I forgot his good points, and I 

 forgot that he never objected in his life, to 

 any thing I asked him to do. Alas, I forgot 

 all, but to rush ahead on the spur of the 

 moment. Satan had got hold of me for the 

 time being, and he was not slow to use things 

 to his advantage. On the way, a neighbor 

 stopped me, and commenced remonstrating 

 about my course in the Home Papers. With- 

 out breathing a prayer to God. and trusting 

 to him, I commenced defending myself. 

 Conscience again implored me to stop, and 

 as we got to talking so loud that the neigh- 

 bors were looking that way, and passers by 

 overheard our words, conscience spoke in 

 words that fairly made me tremble, saying, 



"Mop / Stop ! STOP ! If God is going to 

 take care of you, must you take up the cause 

 in the streets V " 



I did stop then, and hung my head like one 

 condemned. Bemorse commenced at once, 

 but I was not conquered for all that ; I was 

 simply smarting under its sting, and feeling 

 out of patience with myself, and all the world 

 beside. Just then, my boy came along. I 

 tried to commence mildly, but the more I 

 said, "the more I felt like saying more." lie, 

 poor fellow, confessed his fault, that he had 

 forgotten what 1 said about the fdn. mill, 

 and he did not think to go to me when he 

 had the horse down at the factory. Notwith- 

 standing, I pressed on, and then ordered 

 him, a young man larger and heavier than 

 myself, peremptorily, to get the horse this in- 

 stant, and follow my bidding. He went off 

 without a word, and, for a little while. I 

 tried to feel I had done right. Satan gave a 

 little comfort and encouragement, by saying 

 it was my duty to teach my boy to be prompt ! 



and thorough, but soon commenced that aw- 

 ful remorse. That gentle spirit and presence 

 I had had for days and weeks past was gone, 

 I was an outcast on the face of the earth, 

 like Adam and Eve, after their transgres- 

 sion. I dared not pray. Oh ! what would I 

 have given, to have had those hard, cutting 

 words back again I I wandered to the facto- 

 ry, and then back home, but the boy had 

 told his mother, and, amid his tears, had de- 

 clared he would go away, and work for some 

 one else. He had lost all faith in me, and 

 at this critical moment, when it was most 

 important that his faith in his father should 

 be unshaken, he condemned me in the whole, 

 and perhaps like the rest, thought me crazy 

 and not to be trusted. I prayed God to for- 

 give me, and I asked my boy's forgiveness, 

 but, for the first time in his life, he replied 

 to me with coldness, and a sort of indiffer- 

 ence. 



O ye fathers, I implore you, beware how 

 you "provoke your children to wrath." Let 

 your property go, let your money and your 

 customers go; but do not let the respect and 

 confidence of your grown up sons depart 

 from you. Speak gently, reprove kindly, 

 and let not your after days be haunted by 

 the memory of bitter words spoken in anger, 

 between you two. 



Alone in my room, I plead for forgiveness, 

 and asked God to take me back to himself, 

 and to restore my boy. The answer seemed 

 to be that these demons go not out without 

 long fasting and prayer, and I was told I 

 must regain my boy, by my daily conduct in 

 the future. I have told you, reader, about 

 the boys who are so sure, that they will nev- 

 er get drunk again. Well, I fear I w r as too 

 sure, that in my own strength I would never 

 scold again. It is now the worst besetting 

 sin I have on earth, to get out of patience 

 and scold stingingly. I generally pull up 

 pretty soon, but I ought to pull up before I 

 get started. 



Now there is a moral to this experience 

 after all. The moral is this : One who is 

 praying earnestly to be guided every step of 

 his life, will always be told when he is doing 

 wrong. Conscience never sleeps, and lets men 

 go crazy, without a learning voice. 



It seems my faith was to be tried with 

 some real trials, instead of talk simply. Pub- 

 lic attention, in our town, had been turned 

 toward my "Bee Gleanings" as they termed 

 it, as it had never been before. The editor 

 of our county paper is also post master ; he 

 remarked that my journal was but an adver- 

 tising sheet, when we came right down to it, 

 and it ought not, by good rights, to be al- 

 lowed to go through the mails, at journal 

 rates. I thought this pretty hard, but al- 

 lowed the subject to pass by. A few days 

 afterward, he came to me with an official pa- 

 per bearing the stamp, Washington, and 

 signed by the Post Master General, declar- 

 ing that the publication known as "Glean- 

 ings ix Bee Culture" had been declared 

 unmailable at pound rates, under the section 

 including periodicals whose primary purpose 

 was to advertise the editor's business. I, of 

 course, remonstrated, and asked who it is 

 that decides these matters. He showed me 



