337 



XVI. 



AN INVITATION TO DINNER. 



AN invitation to dinner from Mr. and Mrs. Smith has just been 

 handed in by the postman, and the sight of the missive recalls 

 visions of pleasant company and an enjoyable menu. Smith is, in 

 the best sense of the term, a bon vivant. He takes care that " the 

 feast of reason and the flow of soul " are respectively represented by 

 the science and work of a chefvf\\o understands his business, and 

 by the presence at his table of sensible people who can talk of 

 something more elevating in tone than the pictures at the Grosvenor 

 Gallery, and less bewildering than the " correlation of forces " or the 

 " influence of heredity on developing organisms." 



When I last dined at Smith's, even that eminent scientist Professor 

 Caudal (whose theories respecting the disappearance of the tail in man 

 and his poor relations are well known and appreciated at Burlington 

 House) forgot his scientific joys and his mundane sorrows in the 

 practical investigation of a lovely pain de volatile anx tniffes which 

 Smith's chef\\?A elaborated to perfection. It is currently reported 

 that it was the Professor whose appreciation of Smith's filets de 

 maquereau grilles being disturbed by the clatter of a fair damsel 

 whom he had escorted to table, gave rise to the well-known witti- 

 cism of the comic papers. The lady in question had commenced 

 an argument on evolution with the soup (which was bonne femme, 

 and an especial joy of CaudaPs), and had contrived a criticism of 

 Spencer by the time the Professor's beloved filets appeared on the 

 scene. Darwin and Huxley with the soup might be borne but 

 Spencer with the filets was too much for the Professor's prandial 

 tastes. " Madam," said he, "your knowledge of facts is com- 

 mendable" this was Caudal's playful but porpoise-like fashion of 

 allowing the young lady to fall partly from her position of scientific 

 critic ; " but," continued the Professor, " there is one fact of which 

 you have failed to take due cognisance." "Ah, Professor," replied 

 the lady, " I shall be so delighted if you will supply me with any 

 facts which will aid my comprehension of evolution." Caudal's 

 sonorous reply came during one of those mysterious lulls in the 

 conversation which, as often as not, give the coup de grace to some 

 unfortunate and his opinions. "Madam," said the Professor, "you 

 s em to have overlooked one fact of great importance." "Dear 

 ire !" replied the lady, "what is that?" "The fact, madam, that 



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