102 ESSAYS OF A BIOLOGIST 



We want another razor — a Relativist Razor ; and 

 with that we will carry out barbering operations worthy 

 of another Shaving of Shagpat : we will shave the 

 Absolute. 



The hoary Absolute, enormous and venerable, grey- 

 bearded and grey-locked — he sits enthroned, wielding 

 tremendous power, filling young minds with fear 

 and awe. 



Up, barbers, and at him ! Heat the water of your 

 enthusiasm : lather those disguising appurtenances. 

 See the tufts collapse into the white foam — feel the 

 hairy jungles melt away before your steel ! And 

 at the end, when the last hair falls, you will wipe 

 away the lather, and look upon that face and see — 

 ah, what indeed ? 



I will not be so banal as to attempt to describe 

 that sight in detail. You will have seen it already 

 in your mind*s eye : ' or else ' (to quote Mr. Belloc) 

 * or else you will not ; I cannot be positive which.' 

 If not, you never will ; if yes, what need to waste 

 more of the compositor's time ? But of him who 

 forges that razor, who arms those barbers, who gives 

 them courage for their colossal task, of him shall a 

 new Lucretius sing. 



