" FUNNY FOLKS " ON RAT-PIE. 133 



This joint we eat, that shun as meat, 



Don't like this stew or that pie ; 

 But J. G. Wood says nought 's so good 



In his esteem as rat-pie. 



With the Chinese he quite agrees 



In relishing the rodent, 

 And would not wish more toothsome dish 



(Of tooth cook oft might show dent !) 

 But, though so nice, sheer prejudice 



Makes really " void and null " pie ; 

 Which taste appals, and so he calls 



His choice confection gull-pie. 



This pie to make, a dozen take 



But stay, the old rule 's binding ; 

 First catch your rat and what you're at 



You'll find the need of minding. 

 Twixt rats of drain, and rats who grain 



Have fed on, frankly, my rats 

 Are barn-floor fed though Shakespeare said 



The water-ones were pie-rats.* 



The rats prepare with special care 



(You wash 'em, draw 'em, flay 'em), 

 Then, as with pigeon, rabbit, widgeon, 



Within the dish you lay 'em. 

 Season to taste, put on your paste, 



(For gravy make provision), 

 Bake to a turn, then serve, and learn 



What luxury 's Elysian ! 



" But, eat a rat ! " Just so it's that 



Which constitutes the shocker ; 

 As well come with a rat-tat-tat, 



And bid you eat the knocker ! 



There be land-rats and water-rats : I mean pirates. "Merchant of 

 Venice." 



