SOME NEGRO ANECDOTES. 211 



the heap of salt If he carries a bunch of forks or spoons across the 

 room he is sure to play bones with them unless the head-waiter's eye 

 is severely xipon him. However, I can get on very well with the 

 negro, but the coloured man is a nuisance. If you look at a negro 

 he grins, but if you look at a coloured man he sulks. In fact, all the 

 coloured men are sulky in proportion to the amount of white blood in 

 them. As to the genuine article, I never saw dignity till I saw a 

 black preacher (of the " coloured Gospel ") on Friday. He was one 

 of the biggest men I ever met. He had the glossiest clothes I ever 

 saw, and the shiniest hat, and the varnishedst boots, and the largest 

 expanse of white shirt-front. Cetewayo, with a negro face, might 

 have looked about half as majestic, especially if he were waiting for 

 a horse-car. On Monday he will appear in striped jacket and 

 apron, or in blue cotton overalls. As for me, I collapsed into 

 nothingness. 



December 1st. Black waiter again. One of them had a very 

 bad cold. As he had often waited on me I compassionated him, and 

 made him a glass of boiling punch in Oxford fashion. The head- 

 waiter's eye was on him, but his excitement during the mixing 

 process, in spite of his struggles to keep quiet, was nearly irrepres- 

 sible. However, he took the glass and got safely out of the door, 

 with only a low chuckle. Presently he came back, dodged into a 

 corner out of range of the head-waiter, and there executed a dance, 

 rubbing his gratified stomach the while. 



December 23rd. Mrs. P came out strong, not only telling, 



but acting stories of negro life. Once, on returning home from a 

 rather long visit, she was met by her maid Lucy. " Heigh, Miss 

 Phoebe ! Glad to see you agin at de ole place. Is you bachelor woman 

 still?" 



Then there was a preacher of the " coloured Gospel " who 

 besought " de Lord to look down wid sang-froid on de sins ob dem 

 poor white trash." 



When the negroes were suddenly emancipated they ejected all 

 the scholars and gentlemen from the offices of State (this was in 

 one of the Southern States), and put in a lot of absolutely ignorant 

 plantation negroes. Lucy had married a fellow-servant named Pete, 

 who was elected Governor of South Carolina. Of course they made 

 such havoc that they were glad enough to go out and vote the white 



o 2 



