LUMINOUS PALST. 267 



co-operating with the mud-larks in the manufacture of butter from 

 Thames inud. 



The origin of these stories is traceable to certain officers of the 

 Thames police, who, having on board some of these gentlemen of the 

 press engaged in hunting up information respecting a body found in 

 the river, supplied their guests with a little supplementary chaff by 

 showing them a mud-lark's gatherings, and telling them that it was 

 raw material from which " tine Dorset" is produced. A communi- 

 cation from " Our Special Correspondent" on the manufacture of 

 butter from Thames mud accordingly appeared in the atrocity column 

 on the following morning, and presently " went the round of the 

 papers." 



Although it is perfectly possible by the aid of modern chemical 

 skill to refine even such filth as this, and to churn it into a close 

 resemblance to butter, the cost of doing so would exceed the highest 

 price obtainable for the finest butter that comes to the London 

 market. A skilful chemist can convert all the cotton fibres that are 

 associated with this sewage fat into pure sugar or sugar-candy, .but 

 the manufacture of sweetmeats from Thames mud would not pay any 

 better than the production of butter from the same source, and for 

 the same reason. 



Mutton-suet, shop-parings, and other clean, wholesome fat can be 

 bought wholesale for less than fivepence per pound. It would cost 

 above three times as much as this to bring the fat nodules of the 

 Thames mud to as near an approach to butter as this sort of fat. 

 Therefore the Thames mud-butter material would be three times as 

 costly as that obtainable from the butcher, While the supply of 

 mutton-suet is so far in excess of the butter-making demand that 

 tons of it are annually used in the North for lubricating machinery, 

 we need not fear that anything less objectionable i.e. more costly 

 to purify will be used as a butter substitute. 



CHAPTER XXXVII. 



LUMINOUS PAINT. 



THE sun is evidently going out of fashion, and is more and more 

 excluded from " good society" as our modern substitute for civiliza- 

 tion advances. " Serve him right !" many will say for behaving so 

 badly during the last two summers. The old saw, which says some- 

 thing about " early to bed and early to rise" is forgotten : we take 

 " luncheon 1 ' at dinner time, dine at supper time, make "morning" 

 calls and go to " morning" concerts, etc. late in the afternoon, say 

 " Good morning" until 6 or 7 P.M. ; and thus, by sleeping through 

 the bright hours of the morning, and waking up fully only a little 

 before sunset, the demand for artificial light becomes almost over- 

 whelming. Not only do we require this during a longer period each 

 day, but we insist upon more and more, and still more yet, during 

 that period. 



The rushlight of our forefathers was superseded by an exotic lux- 



