134 SELLINGLUMBER 



those things get a line on what kind of dope was inside of there. 

 But phrenology doesn't amount to a hill of beans. You will waste 

 time in studying any phrenology. Miss Fowler, a daughter of the 

 great scientist, came over to Philadelphia. She is probably the 

 greatest living phrenologist. I borrowed a straw hat from a por- 

 ter, parted my hair and plastered it down on my head. She had 

 six or eight up there, and finally got around to me. Now, I have 

 a gutter right there in my head (indicating). She' said: "This 

 gentleman has a poor memory." Memory is supposed to be lo- 

 cated right in there (indicating) ; and I had a poor memory. 

 Why, my friends, I am long on memory. William James of Har- 

 vard said my memory was monstrous. Albert Gates said there 

 was something superlative about it. Once in a trip through Illi- 

 nois I was asked for a list of my lectures, and I wrote them down, 

 'and I found I had forty-seven; and I haven't a note. I can talk 

 Phrenology f or a mO nth, day and night, without stopping and without look- 

 "Science" m g at anything (laughter) ; and she said I had a poor memory. 

 Then she got up here (indicating) and examined that awhile; 

 and there is another gutter right in there ; and she said : "This 

 gentleman has little faith and little spirituality." If she meant 

 faith' in my fellow human beings, she was wrong there, because 

 three times in my life I have lost everything I had, and I think 

 that is going some. (Laughter). And if she means that I don't 

 believe in God Almighty, she was off, because I do. I am sim- 

 ply an orthodox believer, and I believe those things. Phrenology 

 won't do. But listen : Even if phrenology were scientific, it would 

 be taught in the university here, and in Philadelphia and every- 

 where; but there is not a chair in all the world that is teaching 

 phrenology. Don't you suppose that ought to damn it? And even 

 if it were scientific it would not help us in salesmanship. Why? 

 Do you suppose a customer would allow us to manipulate his 

 head? (Laughter). 



And then they refer us to physiognomy, to give us a line 



on the other fellow. Now that is the face. They say you have 



got to begin with the nose, and the length and breadth and depth 



No Time for of this here (indicating) will give you the first line; but that is 



Anaf^is modified, they say, by the other features of the face, and then 



you must go down and see what the lips have to say and from 



there to the chin and then to the jaws, and that will modify your 



judgment; and then begin again with the eyes and go back to 



