2o8 Life and Sport on the Pacific Slope 



about a poet who wrote some verses entitled: 

 "Why do I live?" The editor to whom they 

 were submitted returned them with these lines: 

 " You ask the question — Why do I live ? We 

 will answer it. Because you sent your poem to us 

 instead of bringing it." 



The Western Press exasperates the travelling 

 Briton, for things British are invariably caricatured. 

 On the French stage milor is always presented 

 with big protruding teeth and long, red whiskers, 

 what were once known as Piccadilly weepers. 

 Without these credentials, so to speak, he would 

 not be accepted or recognised. In the West the 

 people know nothing about England, and the Press 

 faithfully records that ignorance. 



With infinite regret I state as my profound con- 

 viction that the majority of persons living West 

 of the Eocky Mountains rejoices when Britannia 

 mourns. Salt it as you will (and as you must) 

 abuse of England is greedily gobbled up. The 

 demand creates the supply, a fact well understood 

 by the editors of newspapers. The statement that 

 a Boer, under the protection of the white flag, has 

 treacherously shot an Englishman is branded as a 

 lie by most Western journalists. The statement 

 that Tommy Atkins has been guilty of a similar 

 act of treachery is proclaimed as truth — despite 

 the testimony of such witnesses as — let us say — 

 Mr. Julian Kalph, an American. A clipping lies 

 before me as I write, in which the writer says that 

 the Boers are twice as brave as the British soldiers. 

 Yet the American correspondents in the field have 

 all testified that the Boer dare not face the British 



