262 POT-POURRI FROM A SURREY GARDEN 



The common attitude of mind of intelligent boys who 

 have recently gone to school, is that they know every- 

 thing about life, and that their mother understands 

 nothing. The boy thinks his mother good, and that 110 

 good women know anything of life ; and that settles the 

 question. As he gets older, the mother must explain to 

 him what she thinks proper. These matters, however, 

 depend so much upon the character of the mother and son 

 that it is impossible to generalise upon them. Mothers 

 will, I think, rarely get much help from the fathers on 

 the subject of school life. Most men have a wonderful 

 knack of forgetting the difficulties of their own boyhood. 

 The influence and example of the father in the home is 

 immense. What he does, the boys will probably wish to 

 do. Direct help in the difficulties of boy-life comes much 

 more from the mother than from the father. For this 

 reason I should say that the mother must take every pains 

 to educate herself, and learn to understand as much about 

 human nature as she possibly can. A course of French 

 novel-reading and, after all, a great many French novels 

 are magnificent literature is not otherwise than a harm- 

 less and yet useful way of eating of the tree of knowledge 

 for a mother of five-and-thirty. The French have an 

 extraordinarily honest way of facing the facts of life and 

 the results of conduct, and they are far less sentimental 

 than the English. This advice, of course, applies doubly 

 to the woman who has not read French novels for her 

 amusement in her youth. From the time a boy first 

 goes to school, and still more, I think, when he is six- 

 teen or seventeen, the mother should put a strong guard 

 on herself not to worry him about his comings and goings, 

 or in any way restrict his independence, as the sooner he 

 learns to take care of himself the better. As regards the 

 really serious things of life, you should not ' nag,' but 

 up to a certain age you can forbid. 



