CHAPTER H 



RECOLLECTIONS OF CHILDHOOD 



I TURN now to the story of my own life, my own motives, and 

 the environment of nature and men that shaped them. I foresee 

 that the account will have to be somewhat jumbled and con- 

 fused, for the reason that every life is a compound of what is 

 within and what is without the personal quality and of the sur- 

 roundings which shaped impulses and gave them chance of 

 action. 



Although my ancestors were wholesome in body and mind, I 

 was at birth and through my youth rather weakly. The trouble 

 seems to have been with the nervous system leading to imper- 

 fect digestion, so that in childhood I was what is called deli- 

 cate. The pictures of me and the descriptions from my elders 

 show up to twelve years of age a slender, retarded shape, with a 

 pale face and rather frightened look. After that came a rapid 

 growth, which led to a fair measure of bodily strength and re- 

 active forces. The main point is that in the years that mould 

 the man I was, because of innate weakness, left almost without 

 schooling and with no other education than what came from con- 

 tact with my surroundings. Up to that age I could barely read 

 and write. In a dame school, kept by an ancient spinster, to 

 which I was sent from time to time when I was well enough, I 

 learned nothing and was regarded as a dunce. The fact seems 

 to have been that in the bad air of the crowded little room my 

 life wilted at once. Various tokens, especially the rough talk 

 of the slaves of the household, led me to understand that I was 

 not expected to live beyond childhood. I recall that this im- 

 pression was not at all painful to me, for my weakness and the 

 consequent isolation from other children made me a rather 

 intense pessimist for one of my small size. 



