THE FIRST ENGAGEMENT. 57 



young woman, accustomed to the lavish attendance of her own servants, 

 may enter a family where the service is limited, and her laces, carelessly 

 thrown into the wash, may be brought back by a sad-looking mamma, 

 who assures the extravagant daughter-in-law that she keeps "no fine 

 washer and ironer." 



These pin-pricks and small worries are what make up life. And in nine 

 cases out of ten they so disturb the harmony of daily life that the experi- 

 ment of living together fails utterly. Who can say, with any certaii 

 that any two tempers will agree ? Still less half a dozen temp 



The first year of married life is a very trying thing. No two young 

 people would ever wish to live it over again. They have got to become 

 accustomed to each other. They must conquer self. They must begin to 

 live dually. It is a hard lesson to learn. " Far from wondering that 

 marriage is sometimes unhappy, I wonder always that any two people can 

 live together," said an English divine, who has thoroughly understood 

 human nature. 



After the illusions of first love must come the sober fact that all life is 

 not to be passed in honeymoons ; that we have married mortals, not demi- 

 gods or demi-goddesses, and that the future, however much it may be 

 illuminated by the light of a sincere affection, is to be a scene of perpetual 

 self-sacrifice. 



The happiness of marriage depends upon the very highest and most de- 

 licate of reserves ; of the most flattering and careful speech ; of the best 

 and most honourable perception; upon a kindness greater than that of a 

 mother to her child ; and upon a thousand physical causes. Nobility of 

 sentiment is born of love, and is the delightful accompaniment of married 

 love, even in the most low-born brute. Even Bill Sykes h-ul hi> moments 

 of tenderness for the poor wretch who loved him so well, and whom he 

 murdered. Women remember these traits, and forget the brutality. Tin 

 devotion of a woman to a drunkard is not remarkable, iW, of all men, 

 drunkards are sure to have sensibility. But in the every-day marri 

 i two well-behaved and well-intentioned persons, the danger of 

 that first aroma of devotion is very great, for the caivs of daily life are 

 we have no English for that); and unless pe 

 flame alight it soon smould'-rs and goes out. 



nuch for the happiest marriages, What, then, of the unhappy ones ? 

 Where tem] wholly ineompat ihl.-, where tastes differ, where two 



'rid that they have; put their ii'-eks into a yoke which ^alls both ; 

 when we lind that the companion of a lifetime is disagreeable to c\ 

 inland 86086, that we can not treat each other with justice 



