WHAT THE LADY SHOULD OBSERVE DURING COURTSHIP. 297 



It is possible, however, that the lover's endeavours to procure the de- 

 sired introduction may fail of success, although where no material differ- 

 ence of social position exists, this difficulty will be found to occur less- 

 frequently than might at first be supposed. He must then discreetly 

 adopt measures to bring himself, in some degree, under the fair one's- 

 notice : such, for instance, as attending the place of worship whi-jh she 

 frequents, meeting her, so often as to be manifestly for the purpose, in the 

 course of her promenades, etc. He will thus soon be able to judge even. 

 without speaking to the lady whether his further attentions will be 

 distasteful to her. The signs of this on the lady's part, though of the 

 most trifling nature, and in no way compromising her, will be unmistak- 

 able ; for, as the poet tells us in speaking of the sex : 



" He gave them but one tongue to say us ' Nay,' 

 And two fond eyes to grant ! " 



Should her demeanour be decidedly discouraging, any perseverance on 

 his part would be ungentlemanly and highly indecorous. But, on the 

 other hand, should a timid blush intimate doubt, or a gentle smile lurk- 

 ing in the half-dropped eye give pleasing challenge to further parley, when 

 possible he may venture to write not to the lady that would be the 

 opening of a clandestine correspondence ; an unworthy course, where 

 every act should be open and straightforward, as tending to manly and 

 honourable ends but to the father or guardian, through the agency of a 

 common friend where feasible, or, in some instances, to the party at whose 

 residence the lady may be staying. In his letter he ought first to state 

 his position in life and prospects, as well as mention his family com 

 tions ; and then request permission to visit the family, as a preliminay 



p to paying his addresses to the object of his admiration. 



By this course he in no wise compromises either himself or the lady, 

 but leaves open to both, at any future period, an opportunity of rctirin- 

 fn.in tli. position of courtship taken up on the one side, and of receiving 

 addres>,-. un tin.- other, without laying either party open to the accusation 

 of ficklt i M-SS or jilting. 



What the Lady should observe during Courtship, 



A Iftdy should ! particular during the early days of courtship while 



still retainini: some clearness of mental vision to observe tin- niann< 

 which her BUitOT comports himself to other ladies. If he 1 with 



and OOnitesy, without freedom ,.rthe s]j u lit,->t approach to license in 



manner or con veraatioo : if be never .speak slightingly <>\' the sex, and 



