304 TBE HOME, FARM AND BUSINESS CYCLOPAEDIA. 



in his present position. He must not, however, presume to take his stand 

 yet as a member of the family, nor exhibit an obtrusive familiarity in 

 manner and conversation. Should a disruption of the engagement from 

 some unexpected cause ensue, it is obvious that any such premature as- 

 sumption would lead to very embarrassing results. In short, his conduct 

 should be such as to win for himself the esteem and affection of all the 

 family, and dispose them ever to welcome and desire his presence, rather 

 than regard him as an intruder. 



Conduct of the Lady on Ketiring from her Engagement. 



Should this step unhappily be found necessary on the lady's part, the 

 truth should be spoken, and the reasons frankly given ; there must be no 

 room left for the suspicion of its having originated in caprice or injus- 

 tice. The case should be so put that the gentleman himself must see and 

 acknowledge the justice of the painful decision arrived at. Incompatible 

 habits, ungentlemanly actions, anything tending to diminish that respect 

 for the lover which should be felt for the husband ; inconstancy, ill- 

 governed temper all of which, not to mention other obvious objections 

 are to be ^considered as sufficient reasons for terminating an engagement. 

 The communication should be made as tenderly as possible ; room may be 

 left in mere venial cases for reformation ; but all that is done must be so 

 managed that not the slightest shadow of fickleness or want of faith may 

 rest upon the character of the lady. It must be remembered, however, 

 that the termination of an engagement by a lady has the privilege of pass- 

 ing unchallenged ; a lady not being bound to declare any other reason 

 than her will. Nevertheless she owes it to her own reputation that her 

 decision should rest on a sufficient foundation, and be unmistakably pro- 

 nounced. 



Conduct of the Gentleman on Ketiring from his Engagement, 



We hardly know how to approach this portion of our subject. The 

 reasons must be strong indeed that can sufficiently justify a man, placed 

 in the position of an accepted suitor, in severing the ties by which he has 

 bound himself to a lady with the avowed intention of making her his 

 wife. His reasons for breaking off his engagement must be such as will 

 not merely satisfy his own conscience, but will justify him in the eyes of 

 the world. If the fault be on the lady's side, great reserve and delicacy 

 will be observed by any man of honour. If, on the other hand, the imper- 

 ative force of circumstances, such as loss of fortune, or some other unex- 



