CHAP, vi.] The first Chapter of her History. 209 



past, I was, as it were, conversing with you on paper, not 

 choosing to trust them to any one about me, for I know none 

 who would understand me, or whom it can concern, what 

 my own private opinion and remarks have always been about 

 the transactions that continually passed before my eyes. 

 But there can be no harm in telling my own dear nephew, 

 that I never felt satisfied with the support j'our father 

 received towards his undertakings, and far less with the un- 

 gracious manner in which it was granted. For the last sum 

 came with a message that more must never be asked for. 

 (Oh ! how degraded I felt even for myself whenever I thought 

 of it !) And after all it came too late, and was not suffi- 

 cient ; for if expenses had been out of question, there would 

 not have been so much time and labour and expense, for 

 twenty-four men were at times by turns day and night at 

 work, wasted on the first mirror, which had come out too 

 light in the casting (Alex more than once would have de- 

 stroyed it secretly if I had not persuaded him against it), 

 and without two mirrors you know such an instrument 

 cannot be always ready for observing. 



But what grieved me most was, that to the last, your 

 poor father was struggling above his strength against 

 difficulties which he well knew might have been removed, 

 if it had not been attended with too much expense. 

 The last time the mirror was obliged to be taken from the 

 polisher on account of some obstacle, I heard him say (in 

 Ms usual manner of thinking aloud on such occasions), "It 

 is impossible to make the machine act as required with- 

 out a room three times as large as tin's." 



But when all hope for the return of vigour and strength 

 necessary for resuming the unfinished task was gone, all 

 cheerfulness and spirits had also forsaken him, and his 

 temper was changed from the sweetest almost to a pettish 

 one ; and for that reason I was obliged to refrain from 



