304 GARRYOWEN 



" Carriage what? " 

 " Horses." 



" Sure, where were you born that you never 

 saw a race-horse? " 



" If you arsk me where I was born, I was born 

 in Peckham," said Mr Piper, " and if you arsk 

 me have I ever seen a race-horse, I am proud to 

 say I have not, nor a race meeting; and if you 

 arsk me what I'd do with jockeys and publicans 

 and all those who corrupt the people and take 

 honest men's wages out of their pocket — I say, 

 if you arsk me what I'd do with them, I'd answer 

 you that I'd put them in a sack, and the sack in 

 the Thames." 



" Faith," said Moriarty, contemplating his 

 vis-a-vis, "if I hadn't fallen into conversation 

 wid you I'd never have guessed there was so 

 much ' arsk ' about you; but, faith, you're 

 right. It's the whisky and the horses that plays 

 the devil and all wid men. Now, I'd lay, from 

 your face, you'd never been dhrunk in your hfe." 



" I've never even tasted alcohol," said Piper. 

 " Neither alcohol nor tobacco has ever sullied 

 my mouth, nor shall it ever sully a child of mine." 



" Have you any children? " 



" No, I have not." 



" That's a pity," said Moriarty, " for with such 

 a father they couldn't help turnin' out fine men. 

 May I ax are you a Liberal or a Conservative? " 



" I'm a Socialist." 



" The masther has tould me about thim," said 



