YANKEE-DOODLE 199 



easiness of mind, for I started on a round with the waggon 

 at once. In two or three days I was caught up by one of 

 those vagabond negroes who are always lurking about 

 American towns, ready to take a journey to the moon or 

 anywhere for a dime. 



" 'Mornen, Massa Fountain," said this rascal. 



" Good morning, Smutball. What do you want ? " 



" I'se got somefing for you, Massa Fountain. Can I 

 hab a whisky ? " 



I ordered Cookee, my black servant, to give him half 

 a tumbler of whisky, which he swallowed at a gulp. 



" Golly, dat's good ! It am delicious." 



" Well, what have you got for me, and where is it ? " 



" It am a lub-letter from Missis K." 



Like a certain countryman, I " felt a great conflobera- 

 tion," but Cupid was not the exciting cause. Smutball 

 pulled the lining out of his old hat, and made sundry 

 dives among his rags in search of the missive, and finally 

 produced it from the seat-pocket of his small-clothes. 

 Here it is : 



" Paul Fountain, When I catch you I'll cowhide you 

 till you scream. Yours, &c., F. K." 



It will surprise nobody to learn that I immediately 

 made tracks for a two thousand miles jaunt in Arizona 

 and other (then) outlandish parts. 



Another characteristic of the pure Yankee is the pre- 

 posterous tales, not to say lies, which he is fond of telling. 

 This trait seems to arise from his boastfulness ; he will 

 not be outdone in anything. Sometimes his lies are 

 downright and impudent, often they are mere humour. 

 An Englishman remarked that he had heard they pro- 

 posed to start a service in London which should take a 

 passenger round the world in forty days. " Bah ! that 

 ain't nothing," said a Yankee bystander. " Do you mean 

 to say you think your country can beat it ? " "I should 

 think so. Why, there's a shoot-hole down in Alabama 

 where they drop the passenger in and land 'um on the 



