298 THE GREAT NORTH-WEST 



he was a b y rascal, and if lie did not get out of 

 court pretty quick he would kick the tails of his coat. I 

 am putting it as politely as I can. 



But the title of judge is so common that certainly 

 many men must assume it without authority to do so. 

 For instance, in a township of seven hundred inhabitants 

 there were five men addressed by this style, the omission 

 of which in the superscription of a letter, or bill, or even 

 in colloquial speech, would have given great offence, as it 

 actually did in one case in which I was personally con- 

 cerned. Yet the most respectable of these five was a 

 man who ran a small store, quite a twopenny-ha'penny 

 affair, while another was a disreputable loafer and 

 drunkard, who lived I do not know how. A third was 

 a blacksmith, and the other two were farmers, not so well 

 off as average English market-gardeners, and certainly 

 not one whit better educated. I may add that I have 

 known a duly appointed judge to be drunk when he took 

 his seat on the bench, and several who threatened prin- 

 cipals and witnesses with personal violence. 



"Professor " is not so common a title as judge ; but 

 there are few districts in which at least one gentleman 

 bearing this exalted designation may not be found. 

 A boy of sixteen, hearing I was making a collection, 

 brought me some rare eggs. I spoke to him with the 

 familiarity I might display to any boy, but he soon 

 brought me up with a round turn, by informing me that 

 he was a professor, and expected to be addressed by his 

 title. " A professor of what ? " I inquired. " A pro- 

 fessor of Greek," was the reply. He kept a school in a 

 district where there were about eight persons to the square 

 mile, had about a dozen scholars, and eked out a miser- 

 able living by turning his hand to anything it could find 

 to do. He seized with avidity the few dimes I gave him 

 for his specimens. I do not remember to have ever met 

 a professor of law they are always judges ; but there are 

 a great many attorneys who are not in practice, never 

 have been, and never will be. But then every American 



