ANIMAL LIFE ABOUT DUNFORD'S FARM 299 



who has the slightest pretension to learning has studied 

 the law so he will tell you. As to general professors, 

 in some parts of the country I could scarcely find a 

 schoolmaster who did not lay claim to that title, though 

 not one of them had been to a university or received a 

 learned degree of any kind. There were professors of 

 languages, general and specific ; of the latter, Latin, 

 Greek, and Hebrew in particular ; professors of history, 

 of mathematics, of ethics (spelt " etthics " in one case), of 

 medicine (with three boxes of pills and half-a-dozen vials 

 hi the window of his hut) ; of writing ; of phrenology, and 

 of mystery and spiritualism. These were not mere trade 

 designations ; but the bearers of the titles would, one and 

 all, have looked upon it as a gross insult if they were not 

 habitually, and on all occasions, addressed as " Professor." 



Perhaps the most general of all civil titles is that of 

 " doctor." A diploma, of a sort, can be picked up for a 

 song in the States ; but, quite apart from that, the num- 

 ber of doctors is simply enormous, amounting in some 

 places I was afterwards in the habit of visiting with my 

 waggon to twelve per cent, of the population. Of all these, 

 I am sure, not one was a qualified medical man, probably 

 not one was other than an unqualified quack, though 

 some pretended to have studied medicine in Europe and 

 the States, one man exhibiting a full-grown skeleton in 

 his house, and claiming to be a professor of anatomy as 

 well as an M.D. Hundreds of persons, however, use the 

 title of doctor without pretending to practise the medical, or 

 any other profession, desiring merely to raise their name 

 above that of the general rag-tag and bobtail of humanity. 



Another numerous class of titled personages in the 

 States are those who have held office of some sort, and 

 whose official designation clings to them for life. Thus 

 there are no end of Mr. Commissioners, Mr. Sheriffs, Mr. 

 Deputies, Mr. Senators, and Governors. A man who has 

 been a deputy, if but for a week, is Deputy Silas P. 

 Johnston, or whatever his name may be, to the end of 

 his days. 



