LIFE OF BACON. 



slight refusals, insomuch as it is most true, that imme 

 diately after New-year s-tide I desired to speak with her; 

 and being admitted to her, I dealt with her plainly, and 

 said, Madam, I see you withdraw your favour from me, 

 and now I have lost many friends for your sake, I shall 

 lose you too : you have put me like one of those that the 

 Frenchmen call enfans perdus, that serve on foot before 

 horsemen, so have you put me into matters of envy without 

 place, or without strength ; and I know at chess a pawn 

 before the king is ever much played upon : a great many 

 love me not, because they think I have been against my 

 lord of Essex ; and you love me not, because you know I 

 have been for him : yet will I never repent me that I have 

 dealt in simplicity of heart towards you both, without 

 respect of cautions to myself, and therefore vivus vidensque 

 pereo. If I do break my neck, I shall do it in a manner 

 as Master Dorrington did it, which walked on the battle 

 ments of the church many days, and took a view and survey 

 where he should fall : and so, Madam, said I, I am not so 

 simple, but that I take a prospect of mine overthrow, only 

 I thought I would tell you so much, that you may know 

 that it was faith, and not folly that brought me into it, and 

 so I will pray for you. Upon which speeches of mine, 

 uttered with some passion, it is true her majesty was 

 exceedingly moved ; and accumulated a number of kind 

 and gracious words upon me, and willed me to rest upon 

 this, Gratia mea sufficit, and a number of other sensible 

 and tender words and demonstrations, such as more could 

 not be; but as touching my lord of Essex, ne verbum 

 quidem. Whereupon I departed, resting then determined 

 to meddle no more in the matter, as I saw that it would 

 overthrow me, and not be able to do him any good.&quot; 



Bacon s anguish, when he felt that the Queen s dis 

 pleasure was gradually taking the form most to be dreaded, 



