222 FIVE ACRES TOO MUCH. 



&quot; What is your opinion,&quot; I inquired, &quot; of the Pat 

 ent Duplex Elliptic Milk Converter 3&quot; 



&quot; Then you have seen that worthless contrivance ! 

 It could not have deceived an experienced farmer 

 like yourself. Why, that whirligig is the most ut 

 terly useless affair conceivable. It is forever out of 

 order ; the flanges bend, the cogs break. Whatever 

 you do, don t buy that. In ours you have primitive 

 simplicity and perfect security.&quot; 



At this point a brilliant idea entered my mind, 

 and, taking my departure without even waiting to 

 ask the price of this wonderful invention, I hurried 

 back to, the first store. Thrusting my head in at the 

 door, and not daring to advance farther lest I should 

 be overwhelmed by a second avalanche of learned 

 terms, I inquired of the smiling clerk, who evidently 

 saw the certainty of a customer in my return, what 

 he thought of the Hippo-opticon. 



&quot; The Hippo-opticon !&quot; he laughed ; &quot; that old fogy 

 concern that winds up with a spring ? My opinion 

 simply is that it will never make butter at all. It 

 never has yet, and it never will. They could not 

 humbug a gentleman of your discernment with that 

 attempt to return to the antiquated days of our fore 

 fathers. The Patent Duplex&quot; 



&quot; Thank you !&quot; I shouted, as I slammed to the 



