334 HOW TO GET A FAKM, 



&quot; Young men in the West, when they get too lazy to 

 plough, drive oxen, and dig potatoes, invariably either go to 

 study law, physic, or divinity, or emigrate to New York to 

 make their fortunes. Hence the inundation of two-and- 

 sixpenny pettifoggers, the abundant crop of innocent, ju 

 venile-looking M. D.s, and the army of weak-eyed preachers, 

 whose original simplicity is too deep-rooted to be ever 

 overgrown by the cares of after life. The portion of our 

 country known as the West, sends forth every year scores 

 of these misguided innocents, who, had they stayed at 

 home, might have grown up into tolerable farmers, or even 

 been cultivated into respectable mechanics, but who, being 

 thrown into the whirl of city life, degenerate into puny 

 clerks, with not half enough salary to pay for their patent- 

 leather boots. 



&quot; It is a curious fact, that two-thirds of the young men 

 from the country, their first year in the metropolis, do not 

 receive as a remuneration for their valuable services, a sum 

 sufficient to keep them in theatre tickets. If a committee 

 of their employers should be detailed to investigate the 

 hidden pecuniary fountain whence these young men obtain 

 the funds many of them lavish so freely, the said committee 

 would be considerably astonished to find out how much 

 more champagne and oysters the New York merchants pay 

 for than the most knowing of them are aware of; and their 

 wives would be astounded to learn how many bracelets and 

 diamond pins had been presented to ladies of the theatre 

 and ballet, and bought with their husbands money. And 

 many a country mother would mourn to hear that her 

 darling had, in the first six months of his city life, learned 

 to practice more vices than she had ever heard of, and 

 among his other attainments, had acquired the elegant city 

 accomplishment of spending his employer s money as freely 

 as if it were his own.&quot; 



