THE TIM BUNKER PAPERS. 79 



NO. 26. TIM BUNKER ON BEGINNING LIFE. 



A PEEP AT THE SHADTOWN PARSONAGE. 



MR. EDITOR : It is well that you are a good hundred 

 miles out of Hookertown about these times. Since that 

 picture on &quot; gal horse-racin &quot; come out, there has been a 

 good deal of talk and some swearing or more. Up in 

 Smithville, I guess there has been more. I was up there 

 last week, and fell in with Colonel Lawson, who got up the 

 race. He come up to me in the street, looking as red in 

 the face as a beet, and about as mad as a March hare, and 

 says he, 



&quot; Old Bunker, did you write that mess of stuff in the 

 paper about the Fair ?&quot; 



&quot; I did ; them s my sentiments, and I can t back down 

 on em any where.&quot; 



&quot; Wai, who got up that picter on the gals with their 

 bonnets off, and myself holding the stakes ? The piece 

 was bad enough, but that picter was all-fired mean, and 

 immodest. It wa n t fit to be decent. I shall prosecute 

 the publisher for libel.&quot; 



&quot; Libel, man ! Why, wasn t the picter a true bill, accord 

 ing to facts ?&quot; 



&quot; A true bill ! That s what I have to complain on. It 

 was altogether too natural. There s Wilcox s gal, with 

 her bonnet flyin, feathers and all, and a feller with his 

 pocket-book out, that they say was meant for me. I can t 

 go any where among decent folks, but what they are stick 

 ing Judd into my face, and inquiring with a smothered 

 sort of grin, &quot; Wall, Colonel, have you seen the last Agri 

 culturist ?&quot; I m gettin tired on t, and if there s any law 

 in the univarse I m bound to prosecute.&quot; 



&quot; Keep cool, keep cool, Colonel. The least said is soon- 



