THE TIM BUNKEK PAPERS. 2o5 



67. TIM BUNKER ON KEEPING A WIFE 

 COMFORTABLE. 



&quot; How long have we got to wait for dinner, I should 

 like to know ?&quot; said Jake Frink to his wife Polly, one day 

 in hoeing time. &quot; Its tu bad to keep three men waitin an 

 hour for their grub.&quot; 



&quot; You ve got to wait till the brush is cooked, with 

 which to cook your dinner,&quot; said Aunt Polly snappishly. 

 &quot; None but a greenhorn would furnish green wood for 

 his wife to cook with and green brush at that. You 

 know, Jake Frink, that you have never had a second cord 

 of wood at your door any time since I have lived with 

 you, and that is going on seven and thirty years. All 

 that time green brush has been the chief article of kind 

 ling. One might think that your whole farm was a brush 

 pasture teetotally. I should like to have you try cooking 

 with green wood a little while, and see how you would 

 like it.&quot; 



&quot; Wall, Polly, hurry up any way,&quot; said Jake, &quot; for we 

 are all mighty hungry, and the corn wants hoeing badly. 

 You see, brush is economical, and what I can t sell at the 

 store, I can use at home. It would kind o rot on the 

 ground ef I dident burn it up.&quot; 



&quot; Pretty economy it is, to keep your wife in a stew all 

 the while, and hired men a waiting hours every day be 

 cause green wood wont burn ! It is smoke, siss, and fiz 

 zle, from morning to night, and I no sooner get a blaze 

 agoing, than I have to put on more green wood, and then 

 there is another sputter. I never see such a house as this 

 is,&quot; said Aunt Polly, with great emphasis, and with a 

 face as red as a beet. 



Jake is a great sinner, although he thinks he is so good 



