ON A PORCH 



about the drift of everything. In such a condi 

 tion, the fine spiculae of a man s sensibilities get 

 knocked off. I had to have something sharper 

 each day to keep up my interest. The artificial 

 vivacities of the playhouse were growing tiresome 

 and lacked shock. I noticed that wine was los 

 ing its tang, and beauty was overdone. Every 

 thing was wearing off its edges. I needed a new 

 sensation. 



I found it in a child, a maid, and a yellow dog. 

 If I had found it in Paris, or Baden, or in moun 

 tain climbing, or in jumping off the Brooklyn 

 Bridge, it would have been conventional, but 

 would not be worth the telling. When a man 

 who begins to find that absinthe is not half as 

 strong as people think is suddenly put on milk 

 diet, he has the best chance of his life to be not 

 only original, but piquant. At least he discovers 

 a lot of things that are not usually thought to be 

 worth discovering. We start life with a milk diet. 

 Did it ever occur to you that there is a terrible 

 irony in being brought round to it again by the 

 doctor ? I suppose you are familiar with a banal 

 phrase about &quot; bringing a man to his milk.&quot; 



If I learned anything in the woods, it was this : 

 that the true piquancy of life often consists in get 

 ting rid of the piquancy. I thought at one time 

 that I was cut out for a young Napoleon of finance. 

 Perhaps I was, but I didn t know how to catch 

 eels or scrape new potatoes. I wanted to operate 

 largely, but I &quot; snapped&quot; and became tutor to my 

 own boy. I used to look around disdainfully for 



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