248 MEMOIR OF GEORGE WILSON. CHAP. IX. 



Do not whisper or hint to any one about the possibility of 

 an operation being necessary. It might reach the folks here 

 and terribly distress them. The thing may not be necessary, 

 and need not therefore be talked about. I speak of it to 

 you that you may know my stand-point, which I cannot 

 explain to many people, who wonder they do not see me at 

 church, although .they know that I am able to lecture. 



" I turn from the self-magnifying morbid introversions of 

 an invalid, to something much safer for me, and more in- 

 teresting to both of us. I think I have been able to live 

 nearer to God during the last three months than I have ever 

 done before. He has granted me a greater share of faith 

 and patience than I have enjoyed previously; a deeper 

 sense of brotherhood with Christ Jesus, and of communion 

 with the good Spirit. I am graver than I have often been ; 

 but I have a joy and peace in believing, which I would not 

 exchange for the lightness of spirits that has often fallen to 

 my share." 



"March 1850. 



" I have been in the house all to-day and yesterday, con- 

 fined with a cold which this ungenial weather was certain to 

 distribute to me, among its other recipients, as one sure to 

 give it suitable accommodation and some days' lodging. I 

 have only once been absent from church this winter, a great 

 cause of thankfulness ; and my health in general has been 

 very fair this year. . . . 



" You tell me I show less vivacity than I once did ; and 

 you are not wrong; but the change noway discontents me. 

 The last two years have greatly sobered me, and my life 

 between twenty and thirty seems now to me a scarcely in- 

 telligible and very sorry drama, to be repented and made 

 better without any delay. I met this day week a lady 

 whom I had not seen since I was some seventeen^ nor was 



