94 LIFE OF BENJAMIN SILLIMAN. 



of sympathy and condolence from affectionate friends, who 

 loved and revered her. Six weeks ago this day her cold 

 remains (lovely in death, her features having lost all traces 

 of suffering and of mortal agony, and having recovered 

 their natural expression) were still with us in the front 

 room where she died. 



Since her death, I have reluctantly turned to any other 

 subject, being absorbed in the most interesting recollections, 

 and in the contemplation of her pure and elevated Christian 

 character. There have been few events to record. I have 

 made two journeys to New York, the first of love and sym 

 pathy to and with my children (M and F ) and 



their families Of common occurrences I have little 



inclination to take notice, and am not willing to lose the deep 

 and tender impression of the last month. I am not, I trust, 

 disposed to cherish a morbid grief of mere sensitive and 

 natural melancholy ; but I am anxious that this bereave 

 ment, the most painful that I have ever met with, may pro 

 duce in me its proper and best effects, in increased spirit 

 uality and diligent preparation for my own departure. I 

 hope never to lose the impressions now strongly engraved 

 upon my mind, which is however, not desponding, but 

 realizes a void in the absence of that wise and good, and 

 ever sincere and faithful wife, mother and friend, whose 

 place cannot be supplied fully even by my affectionate, 

 devoted, and excellent children. But there is One who can 

 console me, who can sustain me, and to Him I resort with 

 more earnestness than ever, and with the aid of the books 

 of spiritual counsel and practical piety, and of sacred poetry, 

 the holy hymns and heavenly songs, which were used by 

 my late wife, the very volumes which her dear hands 

 have so often opened in her religious retirement, I hope 

 that I am drawing nearer to my God than ever before. 



This day I have attended the sacred ordinance of our 

 Saviour, instituted in immediate contemplation of His death. 

 It is now a period of fifteen months since my dear departed 



