108 GARDENING WITH BRAINS 



tried to count them? It has been estimated 

 that "the largest steam boiler in use, kept con- 

 stantly boiling, could not evaporate more water 

 than one large elm would in the same time." 

 Granted. But does that excuse the elm for 

 hogging it having all four feet in the trough, 

 so to speak and taking away from my three 

 hundred timid pansies every drop of water I 

 toilsomely provided? I fear that, morally con- 

 sidered, elm trees are not much better than 

 human beings and other monopolists. The doc- 

 trine of live and let live has not yet penetrated 

 their bark. But I now know how to get even 

 with them. I plant my pansies as near their 

 shade as I darn please, but every few weeks I 

 take the sod cutter and ply it along the four 

 sides of the bed. 

 Revenge is sweet. 



TRAGEDIES IN THE GARDEN 



By contrast with witch grass, to be sure, the 

 elm tree is almost a saint. It is known officially 

 as Johnson grass because it was originally im- 

 ported by a man named Johnson from Turkey 

 and it has all the moral qualities for which 

 the Turks have been notorious for centuries. 

 Nothing can withstand the propagandist prog- 

 ress of this grass. On and on it creeps in all 

 directions, sending up fresh blades every few 

 inches. Its business end is a sort of needle, so 

 sharp that it can penetrate through an iris 



