CATS. 129 



mortal, and have wives. No man having a wife would 

 venture to propose a tax upon cats, and until we have a 

 minister who is without either a wife or other female rela- 

 tions, sisters, aunts, or cousins, the cat will remain master of 

 the situation. 



And yet we are not altogether without hope. The present 

 is essentially an age of association. There are Salvation 

 Armies, Blue Ribbon Armies, Good Templars, Vegetarians, 

 and Anti-tobacconists. Every one is interested in the well- 

 doing of every one else. It cannot be doubted that sooner 

 or later there will be an Association for the Suppression of 

 Bad Language, and the very first step which such a body 

 must take would be the suppression of the cat nuisance. It 

 is calculated that at least 90 per cent, of those who have 

 fallen into the lamentable habit of using strong expressions 

 have been driven thereto, in the first place, by the voice of 

 the midnight cat ; and a pious divine has gone so far as to 

 admit that at least mental profanity is absolutely universal, 

 even among the best of men, under these circumstances. 

 Even ladies of irreproachable morals and conduct have 

 admitted the use of mental bad language, under the irrita- 

 tion caused by hours of sleeplessness through the infliction 

 of a concert on the tiles. A society which would take the 

 matter in hand would command an enormous support, 

 although the great proportion of the subscriptions and 

 donations in furtherance of its object would be anonymous, 

 for few men would venture upon an open adherence to 

 a society which, as a first step towards the suppression of 

 swearing, would undertake to put down the domestic cat. 



