RESULTS TO BE EXPECTED 49 



But even making all allowances we see that we must 

 cultivate much better than the " average," to make anything 

 more than the farmer's hard living off the land. Peter 

 Dunne tells us what kind of a grind that is. 



"This pa-aper says th' farmer niver sthrikes. He hasn't 

 got th' time to. He's too happy. A farmer is continted 

 with his farm lot. There's nawthin' to take his mind 

 off his wurruk. He sleeps at night with his nose against 

 th' shingled roof iv his little frame home an' dhreams iv cinch 

 bugs. While th' stars are still alight he walks in his sleep 

 to wake th' cows that left th' call f'r four o'clock. Thin 

 it's ho ! f'r feedin' th' pigs an' mendin' th' reaper. Th' 

 sun arises as usual in th' east, an' bein' a keen student iv 

 nature he picks a cabbage leaf to put in his hat. Break- 

 fast follows, a gay meal beginnin' at nine an' endin' at nine- 

 three. Thin it's off f'r th' fields where all day he sets on a 

 bicycle seat an' reaps the bearded grain an' th' Hessian fly, 

 with nawthin' but his own thoughts an' a couple iv horses 

 to commune with. An' so he goes an' he's happy th' live- 

 long day if ye don't get in ear-shot iv him. In winter he 

 is employed keeping th' cattle fr'm sufferin' his own fate 

 an' writin' testymonyals iv dyspepsia cures." ("Mr. 

 Dooley Says.") 



