186 SAD FATE OF A " CHEWER." 



No more she'll wander to the milking-pail, 

 While swine stand by to see her chew " pig-tail;" 

 No more round her the bees, a busy crew, 

 Shall linger, eager after " honey-dew; " 

 No more for her shall smoking grains be spread : 

 All bellowless remains her empty shed. 



Sad was her fate. Reflect, all ye who read : 

 Life's flower destroyed by the accursed weed. 

 When first the yellow juice streamed o'er her lip, 

 One might have said, " This is a sad cow-slip." 

 To chew the peaceful cud by nature bid, 

 Degraded man taught her to chew a quid. 

 Sad the effect on body and on mind : 

 Her coat grew " shaggy," her milk nicotined; 

 Over her head shall naught but clover grow, 

 While o'er her peaceful grave the clouds shall blow. 



No invalid shall ask for her cow-heel, 

 To heal his ailments with the simple meal ; 

 Her whiskful tail into no soup shall go ; 

 Mother of " weal " that would but bring us woe. 

 Her tripe shall honor not the festive meal. 

 Where smoking onions all their joys reveal ; 

 Nor shall those shins that oft lagged on the road. 

 Be sold in cheap cook-shops as " a la mode," 

 Her tongue must soon be sandwiched under ground, 

 Nor at pic-nics with cheap champagne go round ; 

 Yea, even her poor bones are past all hope 

 Not fit to be boiled down for scented soap. 



Ah ! hide her hide, poor beast. Her stomachs five 



Dyed with the chewing she could not survive ; 



The very worms from her will turn away, 



To seek some anti-chewer for their prey. 



Ye chewers ! be ye pilgrims to her tomb ; 



Lament with us o'er her untimely doom. 



Awhile she stood the anti-chewer's butt, 



Till scythe-arm'd Time gave her an " ugly cut." 



She stagger'd to her death, and feebly cried, 



And sneezed, " Achew ! achew ! " and chewing died. 



There are many parodies of popular poems written in 

 praise of the weed ; of which the following in imitation of 

 Tennyson's " Charge of the Light Brigade," entitled "The 

 Charge of the Tobacco Jar Brigade," is one of the best. 



