RULES FOR SMOKING. 211 



a scholar inexcusable, from an uncleanness that seems willful. 

 Let the young philosopher avoid such practice, and give a 

 wide berth to those who follow them. Take the following 

 rules, tyro, meopericulo : 



1. Never smoke when the pores are open : they absorb, 

 and you are unfit for decent society. Be it your study ever 

 to escape the noses of strangers. First impressions are 

 sometimes permanent, and you may lose a useful acquaintance. 



2. Learn to smoke slowly. Cultivate i calm and intermit- 

 tent puffs.' Walter Scott. 



3. On the first symptom of expectoration lay down the 

 pipe, or throw away the cigar ; long-continued expectoration 

 is destructive to yourself and revolting to every spectator. 



4. Let an interval elapse between the filling of succeeding 

 pipes. 



5. Clean your tube regularly, and your amber mouthpiece 

 with a feather dipped in spirits of lavender. Never suffer 

 the conduit to remain discolored or stuffed. 



6. A German receiver can be washed out like a teacup, 

 and the oil collected is of value, but a meerschaum should 

 never be wetted. A small sponge at the end of a wire 

 dipped in sweet oil should be used carefully and persistently 

 round and round, coaxing out any hard concretions, till the 

 inside be smooth in its dark polished grain, of a rich mahogany 

 tint. The outside, also, well polished with sweet oil and 

 stale milk, then enveloped in chamois leather. The rich 

 dark coloring is the pledge of your safety better there than 

 darkening your -own brains. 



" The pale gold c'noster and Turkey have now given way 

 to the splendid varieties of America, and my knowledge 

 halts behind the age. The black sticks resembling lollipops 

 are said to be compounds of rum, bullocks' blood and tobacco 

 lees. A taste for them, when once contracted, is abiding. 

 Fine volatile tobacco, with aromatic delicacy, requires a long 

 tube ; used in a short pipe of modern fashion, they parch 

 and shrivel the tongue. In short, what is true of all other 

 pleasures is also true of tobacco-smoking. Fruition is some- 

 times too rapid for enjoyment, as the dram-drinker is less 

 wise than the calm imbiber of the fragrant vintage of the 

 Garonne. With Burke's common sense I began, and with 

 it I end. Depurate vice of all her offensiveness, and you 

 prune her of half her evil. Let not your love of indulgence 

 be so inordinate as to purchase short pleasure by impairing 

 health, neglecting duty, or, while promoting your own 

 self complacency, allow yourself to become permanently 



