THE APPETITES. 73 



and habits of tne individual, but it is almost infinitely complicated 

 by the necessary introduction, here, of the element of mutuality; 

 and the importance and difficulty of its solution are further enhanced 

 by those terrible consequences to health and morals which result 

 both from- excessive and from insufficient gratification. There is 

 little doubt that almost, if not quite, as many dangerous and life- 

 long diseases spring from the latter as from the former, and that 

 undue privation is a powerful stimulus to the most alluring of all 

 those temptations to vice which assail humanity. 



Some sound and prudent counsel, on this subject, is perhaps at 

 much as should be ventured here. In the first place, it should be 

 observed that, in this respect, there is a great difference between the 

 gexes. Men are much more amorous than women. Their passions 

 are stronger and more irrepressible; and besides, while in health, 

 they are almost constantly active and capable. It is not so with 

 women; they have states and periods when they are strong and 

 able, and others when they are weak and powerless. Some have 

 even a settled aversion, approaching to disgust, for what they deem 

 the lower and baser pleasures; and others are only reconciled to 

 them occasionally and at intervals. Yet we should say, that it is 

 the wife's duty, and her interest as well, even in these cases, to 

 comply with the reasonable wishes of her husband. If she have no 

 active and passionate sympathy with certain of his moods, she can 

 at least be passive and complying; and so much the easier will this 

 be, if she love him and desire to prevent those injuries to his health 

 and morals which may possibly result from her want of sympathy 

 and kindness. So much, by way of counsel to the wife in these 

 most difficult and doubtful cases ; yet we present it with extreme 

 diffidence, and only for the temporary relief of those whose hus- 

 bands have not yet learned the higher and better way ; for such a 

 way there is, and we will endeavor to point it out in this article. 



True Marriage True marriage is a state in which, above 

 all the other sentiments, mutual tenderness should prevail; and, 

 when this feeling rules, there is no danger of either discord or 

 excess; because each will find the highest pleasure and happiness 

 in subordinating his own wishes to those of the other. It is this 

 divine fire which softens and melts into an indissoluble unity the 

 hardest, the most inharmonious, and even the most opposite of nat- 

 ures. This union once accomplished, all the rest of good and 

 desirable follows as a matter of course. The more fiery and pas- 

 sionate nature is subdued and quenched in its calm waters, and the 

 colder, slower and more phlegmatic one is aroused and stimulated 

 to passion by its heat; and thence there results a sympathy so per- 

 fect and sweet that it doubles all their mutual pleasures, while it so 

 restrains and moderates desire as to forbid all injurious excess. 

 This in effect, is the meaning and the end of marriage. Those who 

 consider merely its procreative function, take altogether too low and 

 degrading a view of the subject; since it is obvious that this pur- 



